The Halloween Costume Interludes, Round One: Marvin the Martian and the Furious Boobs

In which Team BadRep discuss Halloween costumes via email in a thoroughly serious and academically high-flying manner.

Round One: Marvin the Martian and the Furious Boobs

Miranda: So I thought we could look at what’s on sale for Halloween this year. Jen sent me this from io9. It’s titled “this year’s sluttiest and weirdest store-bought Halloween costumes”, and while I’d question the use of “slutty” perhaps, the point stands: the gulf between MAN SUIT and LADY VERSION (for we are in polarised gender binary land forever, of course) here is… well, case in point, Marvin the Martian. Are you a man? Then your eyes go on your HEAD! Are you a woman? Then your eyes go on your TITS! That is the WAY THINGS ARE DONE AROUND HERE, PLEASE LINE UP TO PAY.

Jenni: I think it’s very considerate of them to leave out the leggings on the ladies’ costume. “Girls! Want to show off your new spray-tan and waxed-smooth legs yet STILL want to dress as a cartoon Martian? This costume is for you. Men, nobody wants to see your legs. They must be covered at all times. Put them away.”

Miranda: I mean, Marvin’s key features include his very engulfing polo neck. But why bother with that “recognisable” shit when you can STICK EYES ON YOUR BOOBULARS.

Sarah J: You know, I almost – almost – like this one. Of course the woman’s costume is barely recognisable as Marvin anyway, but without the boots, hat and gun you’ve got a pretty awesome boobfurious dress that says: ‘Yes, my breasts hate you’. Perfect for so many occasions! Whereas the romano-cyber-sportswear interpretation the man’s wearing looks kind of rubbish.

Miranda: I can definitely get behind the Boob Fury interpretation. Maybe I was being too harsh.

Markgraf: The thing Halloween costumes highlight for me every year is how no-one knows how the fuck to dress men. Women, in this ciscentric, binarist view of costuming, have sections: boobs, waist, arse and legs. And you can section costumes accordingly to highlight whichever of these areas you prefer. But men, right, they HAVE no areas! They’re just… a long rectangle! What the fuck are you meant to do with that?! I feel the costumier’s despair wafting out of my monitor like the sad back end of a horse. It’s the same school of thought that leads cybergoth fashion to dress women like awesome robots from the future crossed with angry Christmas trees, and men in a t-shirt and jeans (but black, and with rubber bits on). Men have sections as well, on account of also possessing a skeleton and body mass! And they can get away with showing off more skin, too, because man nipples are inexplicably inoffensive. It’s not hard, designers! Don’t let society rule you! Go for it! Break free of the top-half-bottom-half block painting of menswear! Give us thigh-high things and stuff to show off our shoulders! Do it or I’ll dress up as a Pokemon!

NEXT: Sassy Sassy Superheroes