Feminist Family Christmas: Part Three
A few snapshots of different sorts of feminists, their families and the festive season. I’m fortunate to have lots of lovely people in my circle, many of whom identify as feminists and I was interested in what their Christmases looked like.
So, are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s continue…
TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.
I’m John, 41 years old, white, middle class, single, hetero, male. I’m not sure if I’d call myself a feminist (due to a number of dissenting views as to whether men can be feminists or not) but I have seen the fnords, am aware of the knapsack I carry and try not to wave my privilege in people’s faces too much.
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR CHRISTMAS?
Normally it would be visiting family – either parents or one of my two sisters and their families. But this year I have to work Christmas Eve and the thought of public transport and a suitcase on Dec. 24th fills me with a deep horror. So I’m going to visit friends in London for Christmas lunch. This has meant that all presents to family had to be dispatched early, so I’m in the enviable position of having bought all my gifts with a week to go.
WHAT HAVE YOU BOUGHT?
I have one nephew and four nieces, plus presents for sisters, parents and close friends. Books tend to figure highly on my present buying (and receiving) and Amazon makes everything easy – especially with wishlists. I’ve tried to stay away from stereotyped presents, but it’s difficult when a 6-year-old boy really wants a Nerf gun and his 5-year-old sister wants a mouse ballerina doll. With my elder nieces who are in their teens, it’s a bit easier – I can have a conversation with them more easily about what I’m happy buying for them. And luckily, neither of them particularly feel the need to ask for stereotypical presents – this year they’ve received iTunes vouchers (because they want to buy games for their iPod Touches) and a watch/clock that’s hopefully ‘cool’.
HOW DO YOU BUY GIFTS?
This year it’s been a combination of Amazon and other internet retailers, alongside the Brick Lane and Covent Garden markets. I like getting people presents that either I know they want (hence the joy of wishlists) or that I see and think “that would be perfect for …”. Almost everything has needed to be posted, which has meant small, durable presents.
DO YOU FEEL ANY PARTICULAR PRESSURE OR RESPONSIBILITY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?
I’m feeling quite guilty about not seeing my parents, despite their reassurances that they understand and that they’re okay with me not travelling up. It’s something that highlights how different my life is from my dad’s – when he was 41 he had a wife, three kids, and was living in a different country to his parents (one of whom had already died). He didn’t have to travel ‘home’ for Christmas – he was home.
AND FINALLY…
I’m aware that I’m becoming the black sheep of the family. Both my sisters are married with kids; I’m single, run a cabaret occasionally, and still go clubbing regularly. But that gives me a degree of freedom to challenge the way that my nieces and nephew think, in ways their parents might not want to or be able to. I’ve had conversations with the elder nieces about gender specific clothing, kicked off by me mentioning that I’ve worn a skirt and makeup when I’ve been out clubbing, for example.
If I’m going to be the slightly weird uncle, better to use my powers for good, no?