Feminist Family Christmas: Part Six

A few snapshots of different sorts of feminists, their families and the festive season. I’m fortunate to have lots of lovely people in my circle, many of whom identify as feminists and I was interested in what their Christmases looked like.

So, are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s continue…

TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.

My name is Lily and I’m a literature student, photographer and occasional event organiser of Crimson (a BDSM club) and Peer Rope London among other things. I’m 23 and have been with my boyfriend for almost five years and with my girlfriend for almost four (I’m polyamorous). I’malso pagan, as are my parents; something I don’t advertise overmuch, but which may impact on the rest of this interview. I was born and grew up in London and am very close to my family, who live ten minutes away from us in Wimbledon.

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS AT CHRISTMAS?

For the last few years, we (my boyfriend and I) have had small Christmas celebrations by ourselves, except for a traditional walk on the common with my family in the morning, then friends have come over in the evening. We usually see our girlfriend the week beforehand for mini-christmasness; she spends the actual holiday with her primary partner. This year, however, we are hosting christmas for the first time for my family (mummy, dad and little brother). I’m cooking, not because I have to, but because I love cooking for people and I get annoyed with other people in the kitchen really quickly! So, we will open stockings, go on our morning walk, open presents, chill out, have christmas dinner. Then more chilling out, a game of cluedo or something and then movies (Wallace and Gromit!), port and bedtime.  My family isn’t christian, so it’s never been about religion for us (we celebrate Yule instead); it’s a chance to celebrate the people you love, have a good time and take time out to spend with each other.

WHAT HAVE YOU BOUGHT?

Crabtree and Evelyn rose perfume, chinese flying lanterns, shoes, wallet, a hat, a kigu, a sparkly Virgin Mary, sparkling skulls, a recipe book, a Jedi bathrobe. I still have to get a couple of bits and pieces.

HOW DO YOU BUY GIFTS?

Online if I need something specific, Etsy for beautiful individual items (I usually boycott Amazon, for LGBT and ethical reasons) and other independent shops, but otherwise I pick up curious little things when I see them in the shops. I like shopping for other people.

AS A FEMINIST DO YOU FEEL ANY PARTICULAR PRESSURES OR RESPONSIBILITY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?

I feel a need to not be gender biased in my present giving. I tend to use Hawkins Bazaar to get a lot of things (like the lanterns, sparkling skulls, etc), because they stock a range of stuff that isn’t gender specific. They’re also great for kids as well as adults. I despise most kids shops at this time of year, when everything is split into pink and blue; Early Learning Centre is a particular horror (and the Pink Stinks campaign highlights this), as is Hamleys with its split gendered floors (one for the girls and one for boys).

Another example of neutral toys made pink...

I actually was horrified by a couple of things in Hamleys, especially its beauty bar for girls, which offers pre-teens manicures etc, and is called Tantrum. And the fact that in order to market something to girls, you should just take the normal toy and paint it pink. But if people ask for something or really love something which is gender specific (rose perfume for example) then I will get it, because that’s about preference not obligation.

AND FINALLY…

I think that a lot of pressure will come from family and social circles at this time of year, more so than the media. I dislike a lot of adverts and articles aimed at “the woman cooking” or “manly gifts”, or “pink for girls, blue for boys”, but I do think it’s starting to get a tiny bit better. Our society is so media saturated, that I don’t even really see or acknowledge most of them nowadays.

Thankfully, my family don’t fight and my parents were always really careful to share the tasks like shopping and cooking (they are both feminists themselves), so I think I don’t see a lot of the feminist issues around the holidays, because I have very little experience of them. Our friends don’t stress us out or insinuate that there is a certain way one should be acting, so I have always found Christmas to be quite enjoyable.