Feminist Family Christmas: Part Four
A few snapshots of different sorts of feminists, their families and the festive season. I’m fortunate to have lots of lovely people in my circle, many of whom identify as feminists and I was interested in what their Christmases looked like.
So, are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s continue…
TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.
I’m Kate Craig-Wood and I’m a technology entrepreneur. I’m the managing director of Memset, a family business founded and owned by my brother and I. As one of the tiny number of highly successful businesswomen in IT I try to be a bit of a role model and am a big advocate for getting more girls into science and technology where they are much needed!
I’m very aware that my approach to Christmas, and to my domestic arrangements for that matter, are opposite to the perceived (and, in my experience, common) societal norm of the woman doing the bulk of the present shopping. I attribute this in no small part to my upbringing. I am transgendered, and was raised as a boy, though I have always had a female brain. That is the nature of transsexuality: during gestation the brain differentiates one way and the body another.
Kate - minus Christmas hat...
In stark contrast to my sister I was brought up to be confident, assertive, comfortable with being the breadwinner and with delegating responsibilities. This is not to say I have always been in such a relationship dynamic; I’ve often been the “present buyer” in the past, but it does mean I do not feel restricted to that stereotypical role in the way that my little sister appears to. My partner, a student at present and himself unfettered by gender stereotypes, is happy to fulfill that role and I am very busy with work, so it makes sense. I firmly believe that if my sister had been afforded the same sort of upbringing as me she would not feel trapped into the often-stressful role of Christmas coordinator, but instead she struggles to ask her husband for help.
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS AT CHRISTMAS?
Spending it with my family. Sadly I can’t have children of my own, but my brother and sister have six between them. Christmas is a time for me to spoil my nieces and nephews and usually ends up with me being knee deep in chocolate wrappers and lego!
WHAT HAVE YOU BOUGHT?
I’m fortunate to have a very organised boyfriend, with whom the stereotypical roles are very reversed – I’m the breadwinner and he takes care of the household and “detail”. This means that (with a little input from me) he takes care of the bulk of the Christmas shopping, and I just have to get things for him, my brother and my sister.
I’m showering him with gadgets this year: an Xbox Kinect, a big screen for his office (mainly for gaming), and some fancy headphones. For my brother, a deep intellectual, I’m getting a pile of books, the main being Stephen Wolfram’s A New Kind of Science.
The younger kids are fairly easy, especially the boys – lots of Star Wars Lego! Shopping for my older niece (14) and nephew (13) is getting harder, but anything from Superdry still seems to be in young-teen-vogue!
My sister is always the difficulty. A dedicated mum and thus something of a polar opposite to me as the career woman (we often joke how between us we have all the bases covered), there are only so many bits of jewelery, smellies and scarves one can buy her! She has been having a hard time lately, and we don’t spend enough time together, so this year I’ve decided to give her a shopping trip (so I can check she likes the things I get her first) and a spa day, also with me, plus various small bits.
HOW DO YOU BUY GIFTS?
I get the big items online, and leave the rest until the very last minute. Everyone thinks I’m mad to go Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve, but I find it works rather well for those stocking filler items. My local town centre is pretty quiet – the shops have plenty of stock since they are ready for the post-Christmas sales, and the time pressure really focuses the mind! Rather than visiting one shop, seeing something suitable, but then prevaricating, it forces one to be decisive then and there.
DO YOU FEEL ANY PARTICULAR PRESSURES OR RESPONSIBILITY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?
Christmas’s approach tends to be generally stressful. We don’t tend to host over the period, going to those with children rather than them having to move the family to us, so it is not that, but more just a coincidence of deadlines. On the one hand there are presents to buy, which even with assistance I struggle to find time to do in advance, but it is more work and the business of transitioning a company from one financial year to the next with lots of people taking time off in between!
I know I will enjoy the festive period when I’m in it, but as with most holidays, the prospect of stepping away from my desk for a week or two causes undue worry. Since we provide 24/7 services I feel a responsibility to ensure that everything is in order ahead of this break in particular so that my customers and staff don’t end up having any unwanted interruptions to their holidays.