<\/a>Go for the burn: Bess Motta's
'Aerobicise'<\/p><\/div>\n
Speaking of that dude, I’ve never understood if the men
in the back row are there as misguided eye candy while you
sweat it out, or if they’re intended to demonstrate that
the workout is suitable for all genders. Have a think about
that one.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Do It Yourself<\/h3>\n
The ‘New Workout’ was the first of 23 workout
videos Fonda released and, apparently, the best-selling home
video ever made (17 million copies sold). It’s hardly
surprising: the DIY formula was a seductive one for (in
particular) many American baby-boomer housewives, who were
just beginning to own the new and exciting VCR-machine.
Indeed, this exercise-at-home option contrasts curiously
with these housewives’ stereotypical Victorian
counterparts, all\u00a0inactivity,
crinolines and restrictive corsets<\/a>. Fashion follows
money, so the trophy wives of the 1980s would be as likely
to flaunt their husbands’ wealth with lycra, fitness
gadgets and gyms as elegant laziness; keeping trim between
cleaning the house and nuking something for dinner.<\/p>\n
Another explanation is the quality of the workout itself:
there’s a pleasing sense of female\u00a0camaraderie on
Jane’s workouts – she’s occasionally
ironic, and consistently determined that you should smile
while you do your umpteenth set of sit ups (I never knew it
was possible for your abs to hurt post-workout, but I was
ignorant). At peak moments she shouts ‘Come on! If I
can do it, you can do it!’, apparently forgetting that
she trained as a professional ballet dancer, whereas we, her
viewers, are more likely to be professional slobs. She
believes in you!<\/p>\n
Running Wild<\/h3>\n
That said, she’s also MAD – look at\u00a0the
‘cool down’ section<\/a>\u00a0of the
‘Advanced’ workout for evidence.
Rumours\u00a0that she was filming the video on a diet of
espresso, ice cream and cocaine remain unconfirmed, but
she’s certainly on some kind of drug, even if just
adrenaline. She drives her mob onwards, onwards, always
onwards, and I always think there’s something
vaguely\u00a0Maenadic\u00a0about the hoots and howls of
pain she elicits from her class.<\/p>\n
However, looking at similar videos of the time it seems
that such a frenzied approach to exercise was completely
normal: in the Canadian TV series\u00a020-Minute Workout<\/strong> (1983-4), the instructions
are shouted out by Bess ‘Aerobics Queen’
Motta almost as parts of a ritualistic cowboy song. The
overall effect is unsettling, if not completely
hypnotic:<\/p>\n
Here’s Bess again, in a slightly more
extended\u00a0Aerobicise<\/strong>\u00a0opus (the original 1981
show, whence\u00a020-Minute Workout\u00a0<\/strong>was a
spin-off).\u00a0For some reason, at this point she
seems to require two versions of herself to work
out with simultaneously. It gets very weird from
about 2:40 onwards, at which point the line
between ‘exercise-at-home cardio
workout’ and ‘strangely synchronised
proto-American Apparel soft porn’ becomes
blurred to say the very least:<\/p>\n
Both these are filmed with a pizazz lacking in
Jane Fonda’s no-nonsense camerawork and
they perhaps explain why, though Bess may have
been Aerobics Queen, Jane was the
housewives’ favourite. These are so
lacking in practicality that they’re
almost music videos; and indeed there’s a
‘genuine’ Sexy Workout prototype to
compare them with, in the shape of Olivia
Newton-John’s 80s cult classic
‘(Let’s Get) Physical<\/strong>‘
(1981).<\/p>\n
Here, with a crazed energy akin to
Fonda’s – but a sexual energy
that’s more Bess Motta – Olivia
Newton-John stalks a gym in something
suspiciously akin to a thong-leotard. She
pushes fat blokes around until they become
ripped blokes shining with sweat (who then
walk off into the changing rooms
hand-in-hand…) – yet,
ironically,\u00a0the video was set in a gym
in order to pacify hand-wringers who found
the title too sexual.<\/p>\n
Thematically and choreographically, this is
almost an inverted reworking of the song
1950s icon Jane Russell sings to the US
Olympic team in\u00a0Gentlemen Prefer
Blondes<\/strong>:<\/p>\n
I’m not in condition to
wrestle
\nI’ve never
trained in a gym
\nShow me a
man who can nestle
\nAnd
I’ll pin a medal on him<\/p>\n
–
Jane Russell, Ain’t there
Anyone Here for Love?<\/strong>
(1953)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Here, again, the woman is a kind
of Exercise Divinity (note the
Greek reference in the murals!),
but not yet the Olivia NJ-style
fitness dominatrix, just a sexy
slavering (and physically passive)
male muscle-fan.<\/p>\n
The Maenads Today<\/h3>\n
Many modern exercise videos
start from celebrity and work
back (Kerry Katona, Davina
McCall), but they seem to set
out to strip their celebrity
fitness instructors of all trace
of the divine: Davina (whilst
being instructed by a
mysterious\u00a0woman
sitting cross-legged in full gym
kit just behind her<\/a>) howls
at the exercises
(‘They’re really
hard!!’), while Katie
Price\/Jordan’s 2005
effort\u00a0The Jordan
Workout<\/strong>\u00a0is full
of ‘I’m
shattered!’, although I
somehow doubt working out was
the main intention of this
particular video, given what
Jordan is wearing:<\/p>\n
It’s interesting that
the\u00a0camaraderie is
still there, but the star is
no longer the instructor:
instead, you’re
‘sharing’ the
star’s expensive
personal trainer for the
price of a DVD. Perhaps as a
result, whereas Jane and
Bess are driving you on to
‘better
yourself’ (we’ll
leave the body fascism issue
at the door for
brevity’s sake),
Jordan and Davina are much
more prosaic about the whole
thing. They even feel the
need to give you a context
for their workout: we learn
that\u00a0Jordan
made her video because she
wanted to be ‘back in
her g-string and on the
beach as Mrs Andre in just
twelve weeks’<\/a>.
And look at how the sex
appeal has changed:
it’s gone from a kind
of primordial Dionysian cult
to a bit of a cheeky snigger
at Jordan’s
knickers.<\/p>\n
Conclusions – well,
there are strange
intersections here between
sexuality, female
camaraderie and the drive
towards fitness. Personally,
I reckon Jane’s still
the best – and
let’s not forget she
also has an\u00a0excellent
political
record<\/a>\u00a0– but
I will leave you with this
video, made in 1983 by
Debbie
Reynolds\u00a0(of\u00a0Singin’
in the
Rain<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0fame):
Do It Debbie’s
Way<\/strong>.<\/p>\n
Do It
Debbie’s Way
(1983)<\/strong>.<\/p>\n
The next time
I’m fed up
down the gym, I am
going to fling the
dumbbells down in
disgust and
flounce off,
offering as
explanation
merely: ‘I
spent years at MGM
making musicals!
This is the
lousiest exercise
I eveeeer
haaaad!!!!’<\/p>\n