{"id":9533,"date":"2012-01-30T09:00:31","date_gmt":"2012-01-30T09:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.badreputation.org.uk\/?p=9533"},"modified":"2012-07-25T11:15:34","modified_gmt":"2012-07-25T10:15:34","slug":"gamer-diary-batman-arkham-asylum-arkham-city-or-the-bat-and-his-bitches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2012\/01\/30\/gamer-diary-batman-arkham-asylum-arkham-city-or-the-bat-and-his-bitches\/","title":{"rendered":"[Gamer Diary] Batman: Arkham Asylum & Arkham City, or; The Bat and his Bitches"},"content":{"rendered":"

As is my tendency, this is another party I was late to<\/a>.\u00a0 I only got Arkham Asylum<\/strong> in late October last year as a gift in a Steam<\/a> sale \u2013 it was only a fiver \u2013 and I had previously been rather sceptical about it.\u00a0 Nevertheless, I played through it and found it very refreshing as a game \u2013 very noir, good combat, puzzles to solve and places to explore \u2013 and the storyline was interesting, as was the inclusion of so many Batman baddies.\u00a0 Basically, in short, I loved it.<\/p>\n

Mostly.<\/p>\n

Harley Quinn<\/a> and Poison Ivy<\/a> were the issues.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to sound like a broken record but boobs on display in a high risk profession such as being a Gotham City criminal is not exactly clever \u2013 is it?\u00a0 Harley was very nice to see as a significant part of the story that is out to scupper your plans, but her being called some less-than-charming things by the Joker\u2019s own thugs was tedious to say the least, and when you actually fight Harley herself<\/em> she is defeated ridiculously easily – in a cutscene no less.\u00a0 Disappointing.<\/p>\n

\"Poison<\/a>

“Please don’t punch me in the chest, Batman. It’d be terribly inconvenient and I might have to reconsider my outfit!”<\/p><\/div>\n

Ivy, when you first meet\u00a0her, is lounging about in her cell \u2013 apparently the only female inmate \u2013 not wearing prison issues but her own clothes displaying her sizeable bust.\u00a0 Later, in her boss fight, for some reason she decides to float about attacking you in what – as our ed described to me in an email – \u201cappears to be a giant laughing vulva-plant which flaps open periodically to reveal she still isn’t wearing a great deal\u2026\u201d.\u00a0 Super<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure she gets referred to as some less-than-charming things too by henchmen<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Fast forward to Arkham City<\/strong>, which I got in another sale (but it still cost me \u00a320), and now you can play as Catwoman<\/a> too!\u00a0 However,<\/em> she appears to have fallen foul of Rule 1 of Sensible Female Armour<\/a>: her suit is only ever zipped up to just below her breasts, allowing for ample cleavage.\u00a0 When you fight thugs as Catwoman, you get called a \u2018bitch\u2019 but for some reason, if you\u2019re Batman, you don\u2019t get called a prick, a wanker, a bastard or even a knobend.\u00a0 Really<\/em>, people?<\/p>\n

The assassins of R\u0101’s al Gh\u016bl\u2019s order are all for some reason scantily clad sex icons \u2013 as is his daughter<\/a> \u2013 and the concept art<\/a> is mainly essentially the sort of softcore you might find in lads\u2019 mags.\u00a0 In fact the vast majority of the concept art involving any female character is pretty oversexualised and repugnant.\u00a0 We get to meet Ivy again, too, but it seems she still hasn\u2019t bothered to find any clothes since the laughing vulva-plant incident. \u00a0And Harley is wearing even more\u00a0revealing kit than last time.<\/p>\n

\"Harley<\/a>

Great graphics, but do we really need to see that much breast?<\/p><\/div>\n

Now, even if we leave aside all of this sexist nonsense, Arkham City<\/strong> is somewhat disappointing anyway.\u00a0 I finished the storyline in less than a day; the ending snuck up on me and was rubbish.\u00a0 I won\u2019t say what happens, but… just… what?!\u00a0 That\u2019s even before I get to the complaint I have with the huge<\/em> continuity hole left at the end.\u00a0 I was so disheartened by it that I did a Ragequit of Disappoints and haven\u2019t gone back on it since.\u00a0 Even though I still have lots of side quests and puzzles to solve, I just haven\u2019t found the heart to go back to it.<\/p>\n

Arkham Asylum<\/strong> was worth the \u00a35 but City<\/strong> was definitely not worth the \u00a320 \u2013 let alone the standard retail price in the range of up to \u00a339.99!\u00a0 The first game offered something new and interesting with a gorgeous noir feel much akin to Nolan\u2019s reimagining<\/a> of Gotham on film, if not grittier.\u00a0 The second game whizzed past all too quickly, with no real indication that one should slow down, do side quests, do the puzzles and so on, lest you face the atrocious storyline ending.<\/p>\n

Benefits of the second game, however, do exist; the world is larger, you get more gadgets and there are no area transitions between outdoor locations.\u00a0 Plus you do<\/em> get to play as Catwoman, even if she is just eye candy to be abused by burly henchmen.\u00a0(Are there really no female crims in Gotham?)<\/em><\/p>\n

Both games do fall down woefully at the Treating Female Characters with Respect hurdle.\u00a0 Would it truly be so hard to think logically about the design of these people?\u00a0 Does Batman walk around without his Kevlar body armour, flexing his pectorals, with a big \u201cSHOOT HERE\u201d target on his chest?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, he does not.\u00a0 So why should Catwoman, or Ivy, or Harley?\u00a0 Basic boob-sense would say maybe a comfy sports bra would be better than leather basques and flimsy shirts with only one button done up.\u00a0 At least then the breast tissue wouldn\u2019t detach during all this acrobatic criminality.<\/p>\n

Also, Catwoman has anti-gravity boobs.<\/p>\n