Have some
cake with that, if you want. Photo: Rayani Melo, 2008<\/p><\/div>\n
I shouldn’t have been surprised, of course – every scene has its
spoken or unspoken rules and standards, and just because they’re
‘alternative’ in some ways doesn’t mean they’re not
deeply conventional in others. Besides, ‘indie = skinny’ is well
established. Here’s a nice comment on the Stereogum 2007 awards for
‘Ms Indie Rock Hotties’ from the Idolator<\/a>:<\/p>\n
once again the winners… prove that when it comes to wank-mining
material, your average indie-rocking male is looking for (gasp!) a skinny
white girl with a shaggy haircut. Emphasis on the \u201cskinny.\u201d And
did we mention the \u201cwhite\u201d? Aside from a few notable tokens
exceptions, there are enough pointy elbows and too-sad-to-leave-the-house
complexions here to fill up a year\u2019s worth of American Apparel
advertisements. Way to reject mainstream standards of beauty, dudes! The guy
hotties list also features many downy, bony gents, yet somehow offers a
slightly wider range of body types than the chick list\u2019s parade of
waifs.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It also reminded me of a post<\/a>
by Laurie Penny from a couple of years back, about the prevalence and
acceptance of self-objectification in alternative subcultures. As she says,
\u201cthere is an assumption that misogyny and beauty fascism don’t
count outside of the mainstream, that they don’t hurt.\u201d Penny
also points out that the notion that getting your kit off is empowering for
women is as readily accepted as it is in mainstream pop culture: \u201cthe
idea being that because the young women with no clothes on aren’t
necessarily blonde and permatanned, it’s all fine and dandy and edgy
and exciting.\u201d<\/p>\n
This stuff can still hurt, perhaps even more when it’s under the
banner of quirky individualism; be as eccentric as you like, as long as
you’re thin and sexy while you do it. EJ Dickson did a great\u00a0post<\/a>\u00a0for
Nerve about how the message to ‘be yourself’, so beloved of all
kinds of alternative subcultures, can actually contain coded pressures to
look and act a particular way when you are being dripfed an ideal, in this
case Zooey Deschanel.<\/p>\n
Would Zooey Deschanel have sex after eating a bucket of chicken wings?, I
often wondered. Would she be self-conscious about the way her stomach
looked while she was on top? The answers to these questions, of course,
was invariably no, she would not: Zooey Deschanel would be thin and
awesome during sex, and after she blew the guy’s mind she’d
take out her ukulele and write a song about it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Dickson is honest about the damage she did to her relationships with
others in pursuit of the version of herself she felt she ought to be.
People will always want to be attractive, whatever that means to them. But
it feels like a lot of goths and punks and indie kids are missing the
point if we just swap one set of impossible beauty standards for
another.<\/p>\n
Not for the first time I find myself wishing I’d had something
like\u00a0Mookychick<\/a>\u00a0when I was a
teenager. Alongside tutorials on applying neon eyeshadow they have
features about health, self esteem, and a whole section on
alternative\u00a0plus
size fashion<\/a>\u00a0including stockists.<\/p>\n
In case it’s useful for anyone out there struggling with body image
issues and self esteem (and I think\u00a0everyone\u00a0does sometimes,
surely), one thing I’ve found that helps me chillax and stop
thinking about it is remembering that no one is studying me as hard as
I’m studying myself. Most people won’t even notice whatever it
is that’s bothering you, not least because they’re too wrapped
up in their own lives and their body worries to care if your pores look
big or your hips are cellulicious.<\/p>\n
It’s not easy, and I certainly haven’t cracked it, but one of
the most radical choices you can make is to give up thinking you’re
ugly.<\/p>\n