{"id":2166,"date":"2010-12-22T09:00:34","date_gmt":"2010-12-22T09:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/?p=2166"},"modified":"2010-12-22T09:00:34","modified_gmt":"2010-12-22T09:00:34","slug":"feminist-family-christmas-part-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2010\/12\/22\/feminist-family-christmas-part-three\/","title":{"rendered":"Feminist Family Christmas: Part Three"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few snapshots of different sorts of feminists, their families and the festive season. I\u2019m fortunate to have lots of lovely people in my circle, many of whom identify as feminists and I was interested in what their Christmases looked like. <\/em><\/p>\n

So, are you sitting comfortably? Then let\u2019s continue…<\/em><\/p>\n

TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m John, 41 years old, white, middle class, single, hetero, male. I’m not sure if I\u2019d call myself a feminist (due to a number of dissenting views as to whether men can be feminists or not) but I have seen the fnords, am aware of the knapsack I carry and try not to wave my privilege in people\u2019s faces too much.<\/p>\n

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR CHRISTMAS?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Normally it would be visiting family \u2013 either parents or one of my two sisters and their families. But this year I have to work Christmas Eve and the thought of public transport and a suitcase on Dec. 24th<\/sup> fills me with a deep horror. So I\u2019m going to visit friends in London for Christmas lunch. This has meant that all presents to family had to be dispatched early, so I\u2019m in the enviable position of having bought all my gifts with a week to go.<\/p>\n

WHAT HAVE YOU BOUGHT?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have one nephew and four nieces, plus presents for sisters, parents and close friends. Books tend to figure highly on my present buying (and receiving) and Amazon makes everything easy \u2013 especially with wishlists. I\u2019ve tried to stay away from stereotyped presents, but it\u2019s difficult when a 6-year-old boy really wants a Nerf gun and his 5-year-old sister wants a mouse ballerina doll. With my elder nieces who are in their teens, it\u2019s a bit easier \u2013 I can have a conversation with them more easily about what I\u2019m happy buying for them. And luckily, neither of them particularly feel the need to ask for stereotypical presents \u2013 this year they\u2019ve received iTunes vouchers (because they want to buy games for their iPod Touches) and a watch\/clock that\u2019s hopefully \u2018cool\u2019.<\/p>\n

HOW DO YOU BUY GIFTS?<\/strong><\/p>\n

This year it\u2019s been a combination of Amazon and other internet retailers, alongside the Brick Lane and Covent Garden markets. I like getting people presents that either I know they want (hence the joy of wishlists) or that I see and think \u201cthat would be perfect for \u2026\u201d. Almost everything has needed to be posted, which has meant small, durable presents.<\/p>\n

DO YOU FEEL ANY PARTICULAR PRESSURE OR RESPONSIBILITY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m feeling quite guilty about not seeing my parents, despite their reassurances that they understand and that they\u2019re okay with me not travelling up. It\u2019s something that highlights how different my life is from my dad\u2019s \u2013 when he was 41 he had a wife, three kids, and was living in a different country to his parents (one of whom had already died).\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have to travel \u2018home\u2019 for Christmas \u2013 he was<\/em> home.<\/p>\n

AND FINALLY…
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m aware that I\u2019m becoming the black sheep of the family. Both my sisters are married with kids; I\u2019m single, run a cabaret occasionally, and still go clubbing regularly. But that gives me a degree of freedom to challenge the way that my nieces and nephew think, in ways their parents might not want to or be able to. I\u2019ve had conversations with the elder nieces about gender specific clothing, kicked off by me mentioning that I\u2019ve worn a skirt and makeup when I\u2019ve been out clubbing, for example.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019m going to be the slightly weird uncle, better to use my powers for good, no?<\/p>\n