So let’s look at some definitions to get the balls rolling.
I’m using wiki<\/a>
and an A level in Biology here, so Actual Scientists please have your
white lab coats and clipboards at the ready to score me on this one. The
David Attenborough lexicon would have “alpha male” as a
perfectly acceptable term for the dominant male in a group of pack animals
(note that not all alphas found in nature are de facto male, and often you
will find an “alpha pair” as the sole breeders in a group).
This usually resembles a social set of multiple females and their young,
sometimes including juvenile males. Social dynamics vary from species to
species but generally the defining trait of the “alpha
male”\u00a0 is that he is the
only sexually active male<\/strong> in the group – all the
females mate with him alone and he will chase off or kill other males
who approach.<\/p>\n Problem solving - if you are a male red
deer<\/p><\/div>\n
So far, so Darwin. By constantly battling to be top dog, the male
maintains his status as physically fit to father offspring and
consequently he’s the best genetic offering for the females.
Now, let’s step away from the forest and into the urban jungle
to look at human animals.<\/p>\n
Why do we like to apply this term to men?<\/p>\n
Superficially, it’s all very easy, obvious and media-friendly to
ascribe animal behaviours and terminology to people for a handy
reference point.\u00a0 The list is vast and serves as shorthand for
personalities. “Alpha male” carries with it all those
connotations that we like to think of as traditionally masculine
– aggression, sexual dominance, high status. However, like all
metaphors it can be carried too far to be rendered meaningless, and
this is absolutely the case with “alpha males”.<\/p>\n
The parallels between humans and animals only go so far. We
don’t live in a forest. We don’t hunt our food using our
own hands and teeth. We don’t compete for space, food or shelter
in the same way that animals do. We don’t live like animals, so
why are we aspiring to their structures? Our society is complicated
and challenging, and yes, there is competition, but the idea that we
are basing all our actions on base instinct inherited from our
ancestors, and that this is a good way to live is absurd, and frankly,
oversimplistic.<\/p>\n Problem solving if you are a business
man<\/p><\/div>\n
Worse still than caveman antics, the term has become something for men
to aspire to without really thinking of the consequences of persuading
50% of the population to butt heads and massacre every other man in
sight. There are hundreds of websites dedicated to becoming an alpha
male.\u00a0 Some are quite
tame<\/a> and offer encouragement in leadership and confidence –
good things for any person, but some are just
plain nasty<\/a>. Problems abound, including that contention that
“feminine” traits are weak – read
bad<\/em> – and “masculine” traits are strong
– read
good<\/em>.<\/p>\n
Let’s get this straight from the get-go. I hate the use of
the word “alpha male”. Whenever I hear it, my brain
automatically erases those two words and replaces them with
“wanker” or “desperately insecure”. I
think it’s a terrible metaphor both for masculinity and
for relationships between (straight) men and (straight) women,
and the more we can question it the sooner we can throw it into
the bin and come up with something a little bit better.\u00a0 So
on to the questioning.<\/p>\n
What are the implications of having “alpha males” in
our society? First, it creates a hierarchy in which the men who
can bag the most women are the best.\u00a0 Being an alpha is
about being the manliest of men, and that means not being
“feminine” or “gay” – both are of
course bad things to be.<\/p>\n
The inclusion of alphas in our society immediately makes it a
sexist one – no room for the gay, the bi or the queer.
No room for anything other than manly-men and womanly-women.
And it places us all in an “us versus them”
scenario with prospective partners.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Sexual conquest is all. This sets up a contest for male
dominance which requires female (and other male) submission.
In order to “win” the female must
“lose” – as must the other men trying to
get her. Women are a prize or a target. Other men are
competition. Hardly the basis for a co-operative or
productive society. This kind of scenario is clearly seen in
the
seduction community \/ pick up artist style of thinking
<\/a>which aims to reduce a woman’s confidence (often
picking targets with low self esteem in the first
place).<\/p>\n
This is the power of the playschool bully and it’s
high time that they grew up.<\/strong><\/p>\n
What we are looking at here is in fact a\u00a0 zero sum
power exchange in which no one wins.\u00a0 Rather than
both parties coming out of it feeling postive or ready
to build something for the future, one of them is
tricked and the other knows they have played a trick. It
might be smug and satisfying to con someone into bed,
but I don’t think that kind of underhanded
behaviour is a worthwhile measure of a man.<\/p>\n
Being an alpha male, or trying to be one, is bad for
men. There are a few ways in which this works. The first
is the manipulative gameplayer outlined above.
That’s a common (and deeply unpleasant) way of
living, but if all you want is sex, then it might make
someone a terrible person but it might not make them
feel bad about themselves. The other ways probably will.
For one thing, if masculinity and self worth all about
how attractive men are to women, then there’s a
problem. This is a game that we women have been playing
for a long time (being attractive to men, that is) and
it’s not a lot of fun, so I don’t really
advise it.<\/p>\n![\"stags](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/stags-fighting-300x199.jpg?resize=300%2C199\")
<\/a>![\"Figures](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3479\/3915512024_f8aca0bab1.jpg?resize=300%2C225\")
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![\"muscular](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/male-torso-220x300.jpg?resize=220%2C300\")
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