I liked precisely nobody
in this short, but Anita
least of all:<\/p>\n
I hadn’t had to
endure this much small
talk in years.
We’d learned a
lot about one another,
but unless we were
looking to date, I
didn’t see the
point.<\/p>\n
…<\/p>\n
Men understood that
sometimes you
didn’t want to
smile, but you
weren’t mad
either, while women
expect other women to
be pleasant, and if
you’re not they
think you don’t
like them. There are
so many reasons that
most of my friends are
men. <\/p>\n
– Laurell K.
Hamilton,
Shutdown<\/strong>,
pp.6-8<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Oh, Ms Blake, you
charmer. I could
quote this little
piece all day,
actually, because
it shows you a lot
about the mess of
contradictions
that is gender
portrayal in these
books, but –
you guys, I
can’t. I
just can’t.
I think my brain
is leaking out of
my ears.<\/p>\n
Let’s finish
up, then, with one
final quote, and
my witty and
insightful
riposte.<\/p>\n
Look, okay, this
isn’t even
close to the most
homophobia
I’ve ever
seen in fiction,
or the worst.
I’ll give
you that I really
do think this
was…
misguided, but
well-intentioned.
For what
that’s
worth. But the
fact remains that
I don’t
think I’ve
seen a
non-heterosexual
character in the
Anita Blake series
who wasn’t
sex-obsessed,
mentally ill (see
above) and\/or
just plain old
mean. <\/p>\n
Anita Blake
herself later gets
a girlfriend and
starts identifying
as
“heteroflexible”,
which is a
completely valid
label that I
don’t wish
to detract from,
but in this case
reads to me sort
of like
she’s just
started adding
“no
homo” to the
end of all of her
sentences about
fancying
women.<\/p>\n
And then
there’s…well,
this. For context:
some of
Anita’s male
partners are
bisexual. She has
just had a
threesome with one
of them and
another man, which
she feels gives
her
incontrovertible
proof that he is,
in fact, also into
guys. The other
men around her do
not seem bothered
by this
revelation. Which
prompts the
following:<\/p>\n
“In
college I had a
friend, a
girlfriend, a
girl who was a
friend. She and
I went shopping
together. Slept
over at each
other’s
dorm rooms. I
undressed in
front of her
because she was
a girl. Then
toward the end
of college she
told me she was
gay. We were
still friends,
but she went
into that guy
category for me.
You don’t
undress in front
of people who
see you as a sex
object. You
don’t
sleep with them,
or…oh,
hell.” I
looked up at
Micah.
“Won’t
it weird you out
to sleep nude
beside him
now?”
<\/p>\n
– Laurell
K. Hamilton,
Danse
Macabre<\/strong>,
p.188.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Funny story:
my original
response to
this
paragraph
was a lot
more
colourful.
I’m
going to try
and discuss
it briefly,
coherently
and without
expletives.<\/p>\n
I’m
not sure
which
bothers me
more, here:
the idea
that being
attracted to
members of
one gender
means
you’re
attracted to
all<\/em>
members of
one
gender, or
Anita’s
assumption
that
everybody
around her
is going
to have
the same
weird
hang-ups
as she is.
I will
say,
though,
that
reading
this made
me briefly
see red.
You can
come hang
out with
my
friends,
Anita
Blake’s
token
lesbian
college
friend!
They’ll
hug you!
Even the
straight
women!<\/p>\n
What
I’m
struggling
to
articulate
is why,
exactly,
this
paragraph
was the
exact
point
that I
fully
lost
patience
with the
series,
because
in
context
it’s
not
actually
so bad.
Anita is
laughed
at for
her
small-mindedness,
and they
all go
to sleep
naked
and
it’s
fine.<\/p>\n
Except…<\/p>\n
Except
that
this
never
really
goes
away<\/em>.
There’s
a kind
of
false
normal
here
that
you’re
not
supposed
to
stray
from,
and
then
even
when
Anita
does,
all
that
happens
it
that
it
gets
this
veneer
of
“exotic
sexy
sex
stuff”
that
makes
the
books
transgressive
and
naughty.
It
doesn’t
read
like a
straight-up
sex
fantasy.
I
definitely
don’t
buy
that
it’s
an
honest
exploration
of
sexuality
in
fiction.
I’m
not
even
sure
that
it’s
Laurell
K.
Hamilton
bragging
about
her
sex
life
with
extra
fantasy
elements.<\/p>\n
The
best
way
I
can
describe
it
is
that
it
reads
like
a
zoo
exhibit,
if
people
who
have
a
lot
of
sex
could
actually
literally
be<\/em>
zoo
exhibits.
It
doesn’t
challenge
normative
attitudes,
is
what
I’m
saying.
It
takes
the
stuff
Ms
Hamilton
describes
as
“too
underground
for
the
mainstream”
and
sticks
it
behind
a
thick
layer
of
societal
assumptions-reinforced
glass,
so
that
you
can
look
at
it
without
getting
your
brain
too
into
all
the
sex
stuff.
And
then
you
can
go
home
at
the
end
feeling
like
you’ve
learned
something.
And
perhaps
a
little
icky.<\/p>\n
And
that
brings
us
to
the
end
of
Anita
Blake,
Vampire
Hunter<\/strong>.
If
you
enjoyed
this
column
and
want
me
to
do
more
like
it,
consider
dropping
me
a
comment,
because
the
experience
was…<\/p>\n
…it
was…<\/p>\n
…it’s
been
an
experience,
guys.
And
now,
if
you’ll
excuse
me,
I’m
off
to
read
something
else.
Something
gentle,
with
no
sex
in
it
whatsoever.
Maybe
some
Catherynne
M.
Valente.<\/p>\n
See
you
next
time!<\/p>\n