{"id":13885,"date":"2013-08-05T16:12:10","date_gmt":"2013-08-05T15:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.badreputation.org.uk\/?p=13885"},"modified":"2013-08-05T16:47:12","modified_gmt":"2013-08-05T15:47:12","slug":"at-the-movies-pacific-rim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2013\/08\/05\/at-the-movies-pacific-rim\/","title":{"rendered":"At The Movies: Pacific Rim or Not Quite The Monster Apocalypse Markgraf Wanted"},"content":{"rendered":"
I HAVE BEEN MADE TO SWEAR A BLOOD-OATH TO YOU ALL THAT I WILL NOT MAKE ANY
“RIM” JOKES IN THIS REVIEW ON PAIN OF MY NEW NEON GREEN KURT
GEIGERS BEING CONFISCATED<\/strong><\/p>\n
OH, ALSO THERE’S MINOR SPOILERS<\/strong><\/p>\n
I ain’t gonna lie, readers; it took me a while to write this
one.\u00a0 I got home from seeing
Pacific Rim<\/strong>, irritated and betrayed (for reasons
I’ll explain), and got on The Internet, ready to share my
frustrations with the film with a giant swathe of the population
that I assumed would doubtless have the same irritations I
did.<\/p>\n
Or maybe it’s like
Avengers Assemble <\/strong>all over again, where everyone and
their dog made
Joss Whedon<\/strong> into a Maypole and danced around him,
singing the praises of his Black Widow and how boss she was,
and all I could think was “yeah but she still strangles
men with her thighs in a black leather catsuit though
doesn’t she”.\u00a0 It’s a step forward, but
even further steps could have been so easy, yet weren’t
taken.<\/p>\n
Let’s look at Pacific Rim’s director,
Guillermo del Toro<\/strong>.\u00a0 Now, Guillermo is my
homeboy.\u00a0 We go way back.\u00a0 He’s made some
of my favourite films in the world ever, and written some
of the best women in filmland, and then put them in main
roles (example:
Pan’s Labyrinth<\/strong>).<\/p>\n
Mako (Rinko Kikuchi<\/strong>) is good in Pacific Rim,
sure, but despite what others say about her getting
the protagonist’s development arc, she
isn’t<\/em> the protagonist, Boring Raleigh
(Charlie Hannam<\/strong>) is, and that’s
where the film focuses.\u00a0 It needn’t
have done, as Mako does indeed get a nice
narrative arc of her very own – but it
really does focus on Raleigh instead.\u00a0 Why,
Guillermo?\u00a0 Why?<\/p>\n
Why focus on the boring guy?\u00a0 The boring
inexplicable guy who is not only tedious, but
a TERRIBLE choice for “massive robot
pilot saviour of mankind” because he
consistently makes awful decisions?\u00a0
Decisions so awful, in fact, that I thought
that maybe his progress through the film would
punish him for his reckless endangering of
human lives – but then he was eventually
lauded for them!\u00a0 I just.
No. <\/em>(There was a lot wrong with
Raleigh, like why doesn’t his
hideously traumatic co-death with his
brother have more of an effect on him
– but I honestly don’t have the
wordcount to get into it!)<\/p>\n
<\/a>There were no end of cool
background people that would have made the
film a) more interesting and b) less
inevitably-focussed-on-the-white-American-dudebro.\u00a0
Loads of internet has spaffed cheerful
over the Soviet team (Heather Doerksen<\/strong>
and\u00a0
Robert Maillet<\/strong>) – and
they’re right to do so;
they’re bossly and cute as hell
(and let’s not forget that
BLOODY SEXY Brutalist Jaeger design!!)
but they get three lines, all of which
are techy floundering
and then they die<\/em>.\u00a0
That’s… that’s not
great, guys!\u00a0 Three
lines!\u00a0 I had more lines when I
was an extra at the local Methodist
church panto when I was 14!<\/p>\n
Mako wasn’t terrible.\u00a0
There was a standout bit for me
where she pilots a Jaeger for the
first time and loses it completely
as Her Traumatic Past flings
nightmare fuel into her face until
she endangers the life of everyone
else in the Jaeger playhouse
– and yet her co-pilot
Boring Raleigh somehow manages to
swallow down and stamp on the
MASSIVE PTSD that presumably
he’d have (along with brain
damage, surely??) from
sharing a brain with his
beloved brother as he died an
extremely brutal
death<\/em>.\u00a0 I just.\u00a0
I don’t know.\u00a0 Maybe
I’d have been less
bothered by her shortcomings if
she hadn’t been forced to
carry the flag as literally the
only woman in the film with
lines.<\/p>\n
“But they didn’t
kiss at the end!” people
have said, delightedly.\u00a0
And in a world where films
appear to be literally
impossible to put on celluloid
without The Day Being Saved By
Heterosexuality, that’s
great.\u00a0 I’m all for
non-sexual
relationships.\u00a0 But
that’s not how the film
was shot or put
together.\u00a0 If it was, it
didn’t do enough to
undermine the romantic
overtures between Raleigh and
Mako all the way through (Del
Toro says that he did their
fight scene “like
a sex scene”<\/a> even),
so while no, they didn’t
kiss – they honestly
might as well have done, and I
wouldn’t have been
surprised if they had
done.<\/p>\n
Frustratingly, it’s not
100% crap.\u00a0 I say
“frustratingly”
because I’d love to just
shit all over this thing
wholesale and be done with it,
but I can’t.\u00a0 The
world of Pacific Rim is
absolutely spectacular.\u00a0
Del Toro has done his
worldbuilding trick where
he’s made everything in
the setting fantasticly
beautiful, cruel and
bleak.\u00a0 But then stitched
the actual narrative and
characterisation out of
tropes.\u00a0 Tropes
aren’t a bad thing
per se<\/em> – but I
honestly felt that I had
seen this film before in a
million different
cinema-sittings.\u00a0 When
you can predict a
character’s story
before he (and it’s
always a he) has even done
it?\u00a0 Not great.<\/p>\n
But the good bits are
really good<\/em>.\u00a0
The robots are heavy,
work-worn and
believable.\u00a0 The
Kaiju are so beautiful
they made me do
facewaters on numerous
occasions.\u00a0 You
know when Newt (played
by
Charlie Day<\/strong>
– but I’ll
come back to him in a
minute) braindives
into their world to
spy?\u00a0 That black
passing body over the
giant red sun?\u00a0
The fiery skies and
the knowledge that
Kaiju are
their<\/em> answers
to mechs?\u00a0 The
hot, prickly balloon
of delight inflated
in my chest and I
felt this sudden
desperation for Del
Toro to make the
film he’s
clearly always
wanted to, carry on
from
Hellboy
II<\/strong>‘s
overtones of human
punishment monster
Apocalypse, and
give it the
“and then
everyone
died” happy
ending that
I’ve always
wanted to see him
do.<\/p>\n
“We
terraformed it
for them,”
Newt says
breathlessly.\u00a0
Humans have
ruined the
world, and now
monsters want it
to play
in.\u00a0 I
wept.\u00a0
“Yes!”
I yelped in the
cinema.\u00a0
“Stamasfodfpohssadjfdk!”
I elaborated,
which I think in
this context
meant,
“Please
give me all the
monster
Apocalypse porn
I need to make
my heart
complete,
Guillermo.”\u00a0
My boyfriend
patted my knee
sharply, which I
think in this
context meant,
“Please
stop making the
sounds that will
inevitably get
us kicked out of
the
cinema”.<\/p>\n
But it
didn’t
happen.\u00a0 I
felt personally
betrayed.\u00a0
Come on,
Guillermo, I
thought we were
bros.<\/p>\n
Speaking of
bros, I did
ship\/love Newt
and Herman
(Burn
Gorman<\/strong>,
who is a
hottie), the
rivalrous,
hilarious,
day-saving,
vitally-important-to-the-plot-and-yet-still-somehow-endearingly-rubbish
scientists.\u00a0
“You
can’t
ship
them!”
cried my
lovely
housemate.\u00a0
“Did you
see how they
fumbled a
*handshake*?\u00a0
That is what
the sex would
be like.\u00a0
Flapping,
awkward and
inaccurate.”\u00a0
Yes, it
would.\u00a0
Just like
regular
sex.<\/p>\n
Newt was
great
though.\u00a0
We follow
him through
the
underground
Kaiju-part
trade as he
shambles off
on his quest
to find this
one
particular
drug-baron.\u00a0
Ron
Perlman<\/strong><\/a>,
of course,
plays
this…<\/p>\n
s p e c
i f i
c\u00a0\u00a0
c r i
m<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
and…<\/p>\n
…no,
I think
we’re
done
here.<\/p>\n
YOU
SHOULD
SEE
THIS
FILM
BECAUSE:<\/strong><\/p>\n
YOU
SHOULD
NOT
SEE
THIS
FILM
BECAUSE:<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n
\n