‘Rape
Prevention Tips for Men’<\/a>.
\n<\/em>
\nWe started the practical part of the class by talking
about personal space. How close does someone have to get
for us to feel uncomfortable? “We’re so polite
in this country,” said Lydia. “We don’t
complain.” We discussed how the size of our personal
space decreases when we’re in a crowded area, on the
train or at a gig, but what was emphasised was that
although its size can change, we’re still entitled
to our own space, and entitled to tell people to get out
of it. Lydia and Sian pretended to be confident commuters
bumping into us, while we walked around looking shy, and
then we switched roles. Less of a ‘This Is How You
Must Act In Order Not To Be Attacked’ than a lesson
in where our personal boundaries lay, and a funny
icebreaker for the class when we were allowed to
‘get revenge’ and barge into our
instructors.<\/p>\n
Something that especially impressed me was that our
instructors acknowledged how practising for assault can
be upsetting – that people might have
traumatically experienced the situations that were being
described. Participation in the physical aspect of the
class was not compulsory, they told us – if we
felt upset we could go away and come back again and
no-one would judge us, and every part of the class was
explained to us before we took part.<\/p>\n
The instructors were even respectful of each
other’s boundaries, and yet the atmosphere in the
class was much more lighthearted and pleasant than many
self-defence classes that I have attended \u2013
\u201cMay I strangle you, Lydia?\u201d \u201cYes you
may, Sian,\u201d they laughed. There were horrible
people and horrible situations out there, but we had the
power to do something about it, and learning these
techniques was going to be fun, too.<\/p>\n
We practised shouting – useful for throwing an
attacker off balance, alerting others who might help,
and also something that can make your strikes stronger
and help you to focus, in the manner of the Japanese Kiai<\/a>.
Here, Lydia did a pretty scary impression of her Swedish
instructor shouting “Nej!!” – I\u2019m
surprised no-one came upstairs to see what was
happening! – but we used the English,
“No!” and practised hitting boxing pads. Our
instructors again emphasised how polite we are as women
or minorities in this culture, how we’re afraid of
causing a fuss, and how getting past that fear can be
one of the best things we can \u2018unlearn\u2019 to
keep ourselves safe.<\/p>\n
We were afraid to shout at first, but as our inhibitions
dropped we became louder and louder. We shouted not
once, but twice, and when we struck, we struck twice,
because we were told, if possible, \u201cdo it
twice,\u201d as that way there’s more chance of
getting a result. If shouting for help, Sian advised us
not just to ask but to ask specific people \u2013
\u201cHey, you in the red bobble hat, this man
won\u2019t take his hand off my leg, please alert the
bus driver!\u201d works because picking on individuals
is better than asking a crowd, where everyone might
assume that someone else will help you.<\/p>\n
As an attacker is likely to be physically stronger than
their victim (unless the attacker is feeling a tad
suicidal), we were told not to wrestle, not to use
\u2018might against might,\u2019 but to find weak spots.
We looked at the diagrams we\u2019d been shown and
practised using the strong parts of our bodies, the
heels of our hands, our fists, our feet, against the
vulnerable parts of an attacker\u2019s, their shins,
their solar plexus, their throat. This wasn\u2019t
karate, this wasn\u2019t the Marquess of Queensbury
rules, this was fighting dirty, and fighting for your
right to go about your life unharmed.<\/p>\n
Sian and Lydia explained that we weren’t just
practising for that shadowy figure that jumps out of the
bushes, we were also practising close-quarters
techniques, where you might not have the space to
deliver that awesome roundhouse kick you saw on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer,<\/strong> because sexual
assault is much more likely to come from people we
know (friends, acquaintances, dates) than from
strangers, and can happen just as easily in your
house, on your sofa, as in a dark alley somewhere.
This is where a lot of the anti-rape advice given by
many self-defence instructors falls down! It\u2019s no
good saying \u2018don\u2019t walk alone at night\u2019
when it could be your date who attacks you.<\/p>\n
My one criticism of this class would be that they
could have explained a little more about the
specific experiences of queer and transgender
people, as these were mentioned on the programme,
but as a one-hour starter class it was full of
great, general advice for people from all walks of
life on how to avoid sexual or violent assault from
a stronger attacker.<\/p>\n
The class overran, there had been so much to say,
but as we all quickly cleared out of the studio to
get to the next Ladyfest event we left our email
addresses with Lydia. The nature of feminist
self-defence, as a DIY movement, is that one takes
what one has learned and passes it on. Lydia and
Sian\u2019s instructor had done so, and now the two
of them were passing it on as well. They told us
that they wanted to prepare another class in London,
and would contact us with details. I handed round
flyers for BadRep, having already mentioned
I’d be writing about the class, and it was
decided that our readers should contact Lydia and
Sian if they were interested in another London-based
class, or if interested in resources for starting
their own classes elsewhere in the country.
You can e-mail us at badrepeditors@gmail.com<\/a>
if you’re interested, and we’ll put
you in touch.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Meanwhile, here’s a little further
reading…<\/p>\n