{"id":11358,"date":"2012-07-03T09:00:50","date_gmt":"2012-07-03T08:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.badreputation.org.uk\/?p=11358"},"modified":"2012-07-03T09:54:37","modified_gmt":"2012-07-03T08:54:37","slug":"actipearls-and-having-a-happy-period","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2012\/07\/03\/actipearls-and-having-a-happy-period\/","title":{"rendered":"ActiPearls and Having a Happy Period"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHi, nice to meet you. You’re looking great today, really confident and independent, good for you! A shame about the smell, though. I mean, really, everybody’s noticed it. And we all know it’s coming from, ahem, down there<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no, no, it’s OK, don’t get offended, it’s not your fault. You can’t help it, I understand that. Your genitals are disgusting and they stink, especially when they’re bleeding and there’s nothing you can do about it. You didn’t ask to be born with such a terrible curse, and nobody expects you to take responsibility for it. Help is at hand, though! If you give me lots of money every month for forty years of your life, we can help! Because believe us, you need it…\u201d<\/p>\n

I will admit up front that I am not a trained marketer, but it’s plain to see that the above isn’t the most convincing of sales pitches. Unfortunately, it’s a far more honest pitch than the current campaign for Always sanitary towels<\/a>, which proudly declare the addition of \u201codour neutralising ActiPearls\u201d as the next step in the evolution of “feminine hygiene” products. What the ads coyly decline to mention is that they’ve taken lessons in odour neutralisation from the Lynx school of \u201csynthetic chemical stench and hygiene are THE SAME THING.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is straight-up vagina-shaming. It’s insulting and inexcusable. And giving me yet another reason to be pissed off when I’m already simmering with ire about the massacre going on between my legs is inadvisable. So congratulations, P&G: you’ve lost my custom for the next thirty years.<\/p>\n

The packaging claims to \u201cneutralise odours rather than just masking them\u201d. This is at best a delicate glossing over of the truth. It’s impossible to tell whether \u201codours\u201d (those vaginal FIENDS!) are neutralised or not because of the perfume.<\/p>\n

Oh God, the perfume.<\/p>\n

I appreciate that scent perception can be a highly subjective thing, so I’ll attempt to keep the description as general as possible. Cloying, synthetic, sweet florals with an undertone of disinfectant, false and stereotypically feminine. It hits you as soon as you open the packaging, before even unwrapping the first towel. A scent that lingers for hours even if you switch to an unscented brand immediately after using one of these. A scent that does not mask menstrual blood, but mingles with it into a nauseating aberration.<\/p>\n

What I Expected<\/em><\/strong>
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\"Photo<\/a>

A thoughtful free gift from Always!<\/p><\/div><\/p>\n

What I Got<\/em><\/strong>
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\"Photo<\/a>

OH.<\/p><\/div><\/p>\n

The problems presented by this are manifold, but there are three main ones that leapt out at me. Bullet point list time? Bullet point list time!<\/p>\n