{"id":11358,"date":"2012-07-03T09:00:50","date_gmt":"2012-07-03T08:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.badreputation.org.uk\/?p=11358"},"modified":"2012-07-03T09:54:37","modified_gmt":"2012-07-03T08:54:37","slug":"actipearls-and-having-a-happy-period","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2012\/07\/03\/actipearls-and-having-a-happy-period\/","title":{"rendered":"ActiPearls and Having a Happy Period"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u201cHi, nice to meet you. You’re looking great today, really confident
and independent, good for you! A shame about the smell, though. I mean,
really, everybody’s noticed it. And we all know it’s coming from,
ahem,
down there<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no, no, it’s OK, don’t get offended, it’s not
your fault. You can’t help it, I understand that. Your genitals are
disgusting and they stink, especially when they’re bleeding and
there’s nothing you can do about it. You didn’t ask to be born
with such a terrible curse, and nobody expects you to take responsibility
for it. Help is at hand, though! If you give me lots of money every month
for forty years of your life, we can help! Because believe us, you need
it…\u201d<\/p>\n
I will admit up front that I am not a trained marketer, but it’s
plain to see that the above isn’t the most convincing of sales
pitches. Unfortunately, it’s a far more honest pitch than the
current campaign for Always sanitary towels<\/a>, which proudly declare
the addition of \u201codour neutralising ActiPearls\u201d as the next step
in the evolution of “feminine hygiene” products. What the ads
coyly decline to mention is that they’ve taken lessons in odour
neutralisation from the Lynx school of \u201csynthetic chemical stench and
hygiene are THE SAME THING.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is straight-up vagina-shaming. It’s insulting and inexcusable.
And giving me yet another reason to be pissed off when I’m already
simmering with ire about the massacre going on between my legs is
inadvisable. So congratulations, P&G: you’ve lost my custom for
the next thirty years.<\/p>\n
The packaging claims to \u201cneutralise odours rather than just masking
them\u201d. This is at best a delicate glossing over of the truth.
It’s impossible to tell whether \u201codours\u201d (those vaginal
FIENDS!) are neutralised or not because of the perfume.<\/p>\n
Oh God, the perfume.<\/p>\n
I appreciate that scent perception can be a highly subjective thing, so
I’ll attempt to keep the description as general as possible.
Cloying, synthetic, sweet florals with an undertone of disinfectant, false
and stereotypically feminine. It hits you as soon as you open the
packaging, before even unwrapping the first towel. A scent that lingers
for hours even if you switch to an unscented brand immediately after using
one of these. A scent that does not mask menstrual blood, but mingles with
it into a nauseating aberration.<\/p>\n
What I Expected<\/em><\/strong> A thoughtful free gift from
Always!<\/p><\/div><\/p>\n
What I Got<\/em><\/strong> OH.<\/p><\/div><\/p>\n
The problems presented by this are manifold, but there are
three main ones that leapt out at me. Bullet point list time?
Bullet point list time!<\/p>\n
Now, at the risk of incurring violent flames, I’ll
admit that I am not the biggest fan of my vagina. I
appreciate the vast capacity for pleasure that it and its
associated physiological paraphernalia provide, but for
the most part our relationship is one of tacit
acknowledgement and grudging acceptance. This does not
mean, however, that I do not appreciate the inherent
beauty and wonder of such genitalia.<\/p>\n
A vagina should smell like a vagina. A vagina should not
smell of roses or perfumes or any
number of artificial masking agents<\/a>. Every healthy
vagina has a personality and life all of its own and scent
to match.<\/p>\n
At a time where in the USA, the wealthy, middle-aged,
cis-male elitists running the country seem determined to
drive women’s bodily autonomy and sexual rights back
into the Victorian era, now seems a very prudent time to
turn our eyes to our genitals and send a clear message to
politicians and megabucks sanitary product manufacturers
alike that our bodies belong to nobody but ourselves.
Their efforts to undermine and deny our sexuality will be
met with the resistance and fight it deserves, until they
back the hell off what’s between our legs.<\/p>\n
If we really must accept defeat and acknowledge that we
are no longer capable of keeping our own vaginas
spring-fresh, then our next step is clear: begin a
campaign to Black
Phoenix Alchemy Lab<\/a> to produce their own range of
sanitary towels impregnated with their gorgeous scents.
Because if my vagina isn’t allowed to smell like a
vagina any more, it can do a hell of a lot better than
Procter and Gamble’s sickly synthetic flower
bleach.<\/p>\n
\n<\/a>
\n<\/a>
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