Toilet door sign captured in Glasgow by lastyearsgirl on Flickr

The queue for the ladies toilets has become an institutional joke. But it’s really not funny. At gigs, clubs, pubs and anywhere where you might prefer to enjoy yourself rather than stand in line there are never, ever enough toilets for women. So this means a lot of hanging around and generally wasted time; possibly even some pain and irritation if you are unfortunate enough to have one of the very common urinary infections that many women are prone to suffer from.

Is it discrimination, though? Well, yes.

Biology has made it difficult – though not impossible – for cisgender women to urinate standing up. But issues of modesty and tradition and all those things that make up society have created a situation where letting it flow without sitting down is generally regarded as more freakish than acceptable. So, here in the UK we need lavatories, which means cubicles, which means space. And that generally means that in most places, there are a lot less places-per-area-of-loos for women to relieve themselves than for men.

A good start on the road to urinary equality is a cunning little device rather like this which is going in my bag for my next camping trip, but I doubt I can use it as an access all areas pass for the queue-free mens’ toilets at my local. Because I still look like a woman, and this will cause arguments, no matter how much I brandish my Amazing Whizzing Contraption. There will be a row and when I’m out for a nice pint I do not want to get engaged in that kind of pissing contest. Or any other, come to think of it.

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it’s modern architecture.

Nancy Banks Smith

Toilets are more than just the butt (I’m sorry about the puns, I really can’t help it) of jokes. Thinking about it, I’m beginning to question why we have to be segregated from our fellow man – literally – at all? This division down binary gender lines for the bathroom has long perplexed me, and for those who are genderqueer or trans this division is a genuine and very personal problem. After all, I don’t need to select “gay” or “straight” before I pee, and we’re thankfully long past facilities segregated by skin colour; however, I do need to pick male or female – or rather, I need to pass the commonly accepted social signifiers for being recognisably one or the other.

From a toilet door in Thailand, source BBC

Many places do have shared facilities, and not just in other countries or those funky overpriced bars in trendy Hoxton. Little shops, small cafes, trains, most people’s houses, in fact, anywhere with room for only one toilet are able to shed the requirement for boy/girl signage and accept that deep down, under all our differences, we all need to go “pay a visit”. It might be the great equaliser we have been looking for, and it was under our noses all the time. Admittedly a little far down under our noses, but you get my point.

Some people might consider this as only a wee issue (there I go again), amongst many others far worthier of my attention. But it is one that causes me annoyance at least once a week. So, architects, when you are designing your next building, add more toilets. Please. And don’t bother about the signs. Just put a lock on the door and we’ll figure it out.