Basically, at the time of writing it was the month with Hallowe’en in it, and I hate to waste a perfectly good theme. So without further ado, allow me to welcome you to Hopeless Reimantic Presents! In this column I’ll be going in-depth into the works of specific authors who are in – or cross over into – the romance genre. In the spirit of the season, I thought we’d take a look at the stuff of nightmares: let’s talk about Laurell K. Hamilton. More specifically, let’s talk about Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, one of the weirdest and most controversial series I’ve ever interacted with.
I had no idea this existed until right this second, but it actually sums up a lot of these books pretty well. (Via Marvel Wiki.)
First of all, a slightly complicated preface. Before I ever picked up an Anita Blake book I knew quite a lot about them, and while I’d like to stress that I’m here to talk about the books and not Ms Hamilton herself I feel like I’ll be remiss if I don’t at least give a quick summary of some common controversies surrounding the series and its author.
I first became aware of Laurell K. Hamilton via Anne Rice. Well, not Anne Rice herself, but the now-infamous Anne Rice Author Tantrum, which I arrived at a couple of years after the fact and consequently saw linked to…Laurell K. Hamilton’s similarly poor handling of criticism (link to a Wikispace article, as the original blog post has vanished).
Hamilton isn’t quite as vitriolic in her I Can’t Believe Not Everyone Likes My Book-ness, but she’s still pretty irritatingly condescending, although I do agree with her that if someone’s taking their book up to you so that you can sign it, then opening with “I hated this one and what you’ve done with the series” is kind of poor form.
She’s since made a name for herself on Twitter for calling her critics sexually frustrated, jealous wannabes, and a name for herself among readers and other writers for not handling criticism well and shamelessly inserting herself into her books. The LKH_lashouts community on LiveJournal keeps a nice catalogue of her various posts, blogs and misdemeanours, and I’ve been on it all day, which might explain why my brain is starting to feel too heavy for my skull.
As a lot of you probably aren’t familiar with what makes the Anita Blake series so divisive in the first place, I’ll give you a quick, neutral description to start us off (don’t worry, we’ll get to the incoherent ranting later). The Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series started out as a kind of monster-of-the-week dealio, with some romance in it but not a huge deal. The romantic – and sexual – content of the books got a lot more page time as the series went on, and the tenth book in the series, Narcissus In Chains, saw a metaphysical event turn Anita Blake into a succubus who needs sex to survive.
Subsequent books are arguably more “paranormal erotica” than anything else, and the last time I checked in with Ms Blake she was in a polyamorous relationship with five guys and happy as a clam. This, and the fact that a lot of the events of Anita Blake’s love life seem to mirror the author’s, have led to accusations that Laurell K. Hamilton is using Anita to brag about how much sex she’s having, and have turned a lot of readers off the series.
The upshot of all this is that this time three months ago, your intrepid romance novel enthusiast knew of Laurell K. Hamilton and had formed a pretty strong impression of the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter books – but had never actually picked one up. So when the call came around for horror-themed posts for autumn and winter, and I decided to take them on, I was…nervous, but excited. Here was a series with a strong female lead which had lost popularity as the erotic content had upped and the quality of the writing had deteriorated – the stuff of feminist bad-porn-lovers’ wildest dreams, right?
All that given due consideration, I wanted to approach the series with an open mind, but I didn’t want to actually buy any of the books because a) this isn’t somebody I want to give money to and b) there are approximately bleventeen of the damned things and I don’t have a job. I put out a call on my social medias for donations to the cause.
Three weeks later, I had seventeen Laurell K. Hamilton books. And with various deadlines coming up? I had a week to read them in.
Some would have panicked. Some would have faltered. Some would have done several noisy circuits of the living room, sobbing about the hilarious injustice of life. Some would have said, “Well, that’s okay, I don’t have to read all of these, I’m not that much of a masochist”, picked out a selection, and called it a day.
I did all of these things except the last one. Here’s how I got on. The following are my initial notes:
Initial thoughts on LKH: The Anita Blake series is not as bad as I thought it would be for the reasons I was told I would hate it, but it is creepingly terrible in ways I didn’t really anticipate.
Day 3 of LKH immersion. Eyes gritty. Legs heavy. Some subcranial tenderness. Seem to have “What Does The Fox Say” stuck in my head.
Laurell K. Hamilton Immersion Week, Day 5. Sore throat, some muscle ache. Have been reading some of the earlier books, which are much better even if I don’t like murder mysteries that much. I’m sad that her deep love of stuffed penguins seems to be worn away by all the sexy sexy sex she starts having in a book or so’s time. What happened to Sigmund, Anita? Did Sigmund mean nothing to you? Developing protective feelings for all penguins.
LKH Immersion Week, Day 6. I…I just don’t even know anymore, you guys. Just leave me alone. I’m going shopping for leather.
By the end of the week I’d contracted a stomach virus, although the medical jury is still out on whether or not this was a symptom of my burgeoning lycanthropy. The next full moon isn’t until December 17th, so I guess we’ll find out then.
This is going to be a difficult bit of analysis to write, because – well, I read seventeen books, you guys. I’m having to be extremely choosy about which books I quote and why. Maybe I’ll upload a list of Supplementary Supportive Material, but, um, I wouldn’t count on it.
Broadly speaking, dear readers, here’s the thing: I didn’t hate these books the way I was expecting to.
Look, fourteen-year-old me assumed I’d hate these books because they were a self-insert Mary-Sue-type series that ended with the main character having far too much ridiculously improbable sex and being the best at everything. Fourteen-year-old me was also scared of non-monogamy, kind of selective in her feminism and a lot more judgmental. Fourteen-year-old me would probably have written this bit of the article in a far more entertainingly vitriolic manner.
Unfortunately, you’re stuck with twenty-three-year-old me, and twenty-three-year-old me doesn’t have a problem with any of these things on principle. Look, okay, self-insert Mary-Sues aren’t my cup of tea, and I can see why a sharp rise (hurr) in sexual content in a series which basically had no sexual content at all for the first four books might turn readers off – but those two facts don’t make either of those authorial decisions inherently wrong.
For all her flaws (and she has many – and I’m not just talking about the fun kind of flaws that make a character seem real, either) Anita Blake has some nice bits of refreshingly feminist outlook. One of the best story arcs in the series comes in Danse Macabre, when she has a pregnancy scare. She talks it over with all of her partners, one of them says he’ll stay at home and raise the baby so that she can keep working, and another says he’ll marry her:
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Richard, is that all you think it takes to fix this? Marry me so the baby won’t be a bastard, and it’s all better?”
“I don’t see anyone else offering marriage,” he said.
“It’s because they know I’ll say no. Every other man in my life understands that this isn’t about marriage. It’s about the fact that we may have created a little person. And we need to do whatever is best for that little person. How will marrying anyone make this work better? … What do you think having a baby will do to me, Richard? Do you think just because I have a baby I’ll become this other person? This softer, gentler person? Is that what you think?”
– Laurell K. Hamilton, Danse Macabre, pp. 162-164
Whatever else I think about Anita Blake the character, I wholeheartedly rooted for her throughout this story arc. Would it have been unrealistic for her to keep being a federal agent who has all the sex and also a baby? Sure, maybe. But this is a fantasy series and clearly delineated as such, so if that’s too much suspension of disbelief for you then allow me to refer you to Scott Lynch.
Regarding the non-monogamy…well, there are not a lot of mainstream series that won’t even touch non-monogamy with a bargepole, and twenty-three-year-old me quite likes the normalisation of non-mono and monogamous relationships here. What I’m basically trying to say here is that if Laurell K. Hamilton wants to chronicle her sexy adventures as Badass The Vampire Slayer (And Harem) and people want to read it, I’m honestly okay with that. I wish she’d be more honest about what her books are (she seems to do a lot of If You Don’t Like It You’re Just Too Mainstream For My Awesomeness-ing), but – whatever. Fine.
However. The fact that I didn’t hate these books for the reasons I’d assumed doesn’t mean that they in no way made me want to tear my own eyes out. Unfortunately this article is skittering dangerously close to its word limit, so stand by for Part Two, in which I attempt to explain why cleanly and concisely but inevitably deteriorate into wordless, feeble sobbing.
Can’t wait! See you then.
]]>Representations of witches and witchcraft in literature and in popular culture generally are incredibly useful to us, providing a way of critiquing the situation of women under patriarchy that is both effective and accessible.
Children’s literature is particularly rife with such representations. From the wicked women of Grimm and Perrault and folkloric creations like Baba Yaga and Ceridwen, through C.S. Lewis’ Jadis and the maleficent creations of Mary de Morgan to 20th century inventions like TH White’s Madam Mim and the female students of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, lady sorcerers – both good and evil – have never been far from the pages of the books we have used to educate and entertain our children.
The witches of the classic fairytales and of the stories of the Victorian era are usually monstrous and spiteful, using their magic in service of the Devil – or worse, their own self-interest. They taunt because they can and have few, if any, redeeming characteristics.
In recent decades the image of the image of the witch in popular culture has undergone a transformation, in no small part due to the witches that have appeared in juvenile literature. Since the 1970s, the stories our children have read have overwhelmingly featured good witches (though the frequency with which they are presented as inept deserves some attention). These are my favourites of the modern circle.
Mildred Hubble
Created when Jill Murphy was a teenager, The Worst Witch series follows the adventures of Mildred Hubble as she navigates the social and academic challenges of Miss Cackle’s Academy, a draughty old castle that perches atop a thickly forested mountain and ‘looks more like a prison than a school’.
It’s an uncomfortable enough environment for a youngster to be in, but Mildred has an added disadvantage, being marked as an outsider by her unkempt appearance and her tabby cat (given to her when the rest of the girls receive sleek black kitties).
She was one of those people who always seem to be in trouble. She didn’t exactly mean to break rules and annoy the teachers, but things just seemed to happen when Mildred was around.
– The Worst Witch
The young witch is thoroughly well-meaning and a little too clever for her own good, but she’s also bumbling and frequently wrangling with authority figures. Despite her perceived inadequacies, there’s an air of serendipity that follows her around; her failures and misdeeds inevitably lead to a positive outcome of much greater consequence than the proceeding mishap.
Perhaps this is why she is so well-loved by young readers and so fondly remembered by adults. Often we can see a little of ourselves in Mildred – from her practical incompetence to her trailing shoe laces, she’s a reminder that you don’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Mary Newbury
The only work of historical fiction on my list, Celia Rees’ Witch Child is an overtly feminist text. The protagonist of the book (and its sequel, Sorceress) is Mary Newbury, an adolescent witch forced to flee to the New World following the violent death of her grandmother at the hands of
witch-hunters.
Caught between a desire to be true to herself and the hypocrisy of Puritanism, Mary is headstrong, smart, empathetic and brave. She exhibits a tolerance that is unusual for her era and generally makes herself an excellent role model for young readers.
For Mary, independence poses a threat – she lives in a time that fears capable women, and her agency and determination could lead her to the same fate as her grandmother. But still she forges onwards, using her wit and her alacrity to light the way and finding friendship and love among another marginalised group.
I should flee, get away. They will turn on me next unless I go. But where to? What am I to do? Lose myself. Die in the forest. I look around. Eyes, hard with hatred, slide from mine. Mouths twitch between leering and sneering. I will not run away into the forest, because that is what they want me to do.
– Witch Child
Tiffany Aching
Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series is often lauded as feminist; he ridicules misogyny and satirises stereotypes, he writes Strong Female Characters. But there is an incongruency to Pratchett’s feminism which undermines his intended message and ultimately, Discworld is, whisper it, not that feminist.
Tiffany Aching is, to paraphrase her creator, the most feminist of the feminists that he does not have. A child savant, she begins her witching career at nine years old when she embarks upon a quest to save her brother from a sinister fairyland a la Labyrinth. She’s got common sense and amazing chutzpah. While remaining a completely believable pre-teen, she’s shrewd, smart and she will not be condescended to.
‘Zoology, eh? That’s a big word, isn’t it?’
‘No, actually it isn’t,’ said Tiffany. ‘Patronising is a big word. Zoology is quite short.’– The Wee Free Men
As Tiffany grows up (she is approaching 16 at the time of I Shall Wear Midnight) It becomes clear that she is the natural successor to Granny Weatherwax, the number one witch of the Discworld series, as she begins to display magical abilities rare in people of her age as well as exhibiting characteristics she shares with her mentor – gravitas, knowledge, a tendency towards literalism and the belief that a witch should remain single. Tiffany will ultimately become a better witch than Granny, and it is a pleasure to watch her get there.
Minerva McGonagall
Transfiguration Mistress – and latterly Deputy Headmistress – at Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall is both wise and motherly, embodying a binary that women are frequently told they cannot.
McGonagall cares for her charges deeply, but not blindly. She is fair and ethical and has gained great respect within the Hogwarts hierarchy. She’s often sharp with students and teachers alike, she’s a keen believer in rules – without being mindlessly bound to them – and she’s a fan of order in her classroom.
With a witty remark or condescending quip never far from her thin lips, Minerva McGonagall is a force to be reckoned with.
‘Oh, I can’t wait to see McGonagall inspected,’ said Ron happily. ‘Umbridge won’t know what’s hit her.’
– Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Though she is a slight woman in her seventies, McGonagall is a fearless combatant in the battle that rages at the close of the series, directing the action and engaging directly with Voldemort in defence of the institution and the people that she loves.
There are many women in JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series that display fine qualities – caring and protective Mrs Weasley; book-smart Hermione; fearless Tonks; even Delores Umbridge can be admired for her sheer bloodymindedness and determination. But McGonagall seems to embody all these qualities and then some.
Winnie the Witch
Winnie the Witch lived in a black house in the forest. The house was black on the outside and black on the inside. The carpets were black. The chairs were black. The bed was black and it had black sheets and black blankets. Even the bath was black.
Winnie lived in her black house with her cat, Wilbur. He was black too. And that is how the trouble began.
– Winnie the Witch
Winnie the Witch – not to be confused with the 1970s Charlton Comics character of the same name – made her first appearance in 1987.
Created by Valerie Thomas and illustrated by Korky Paul, she’s a comical character by design, gangly and tall with an unruly mane of black hair and a reddened nose that I like to imagine comes from a fondness for gin. When we first meet her, she is the only colourful thing in a very dark world. A series of books for middle grade readers featuring Winnie is also available, written by Laura Owen.
But Winnie has no qualms over using her magic to amend the world around her to suit her own purposes without considering the consequences. Winnie is heedless and impulsive, with a catch-all cry of ‘ABRACADABRA’ that, predictably, gets her into scrapes.
She learns from her blunders, though, and she puts things right with grace and unerrring joy. Winnie the Witch lives a hedonistic life and she makes mistakes, but she’s always got a genuine smile on her face and that’s what makes her so refreshing.
Bonus Material: HERE IS THE ACTUAL MASTER READING WINNIE THE WITCH.
- Libby earned her feminist stripes interning for the Fawcett Society where she was horrified by most of the stories she heard. An accidental activist, she is a regular contributor to BCN. Her blog, TreasuryIslands, is the home of her other passion – children’s literature. Libby is very proud of her bad reputation.
Borderlands 2, or ‘the Accidental-on-Purpose, not-so-secret, feminist game’
There really is a lot that can be said about BL2, and although I’m not going to say it all, I’ve picked up on some points I think are more relevant for BadRep. It isn’t, however, as hard as you might expect to find good, feminist-friendly things to say about BL2. In fact, it’s probably one of the best AAA titles in terms of its ability to give players something quite egalitarian as an overall experience.
Basic game-stuff first, though: keeping to form, Borderlands 2 is beautiful. Hand-painted landscapes, smooth animation, great character design, brilliant monsters and, like, a gazillion-billion guns and other loot items. It’s an FPS/RPG that combines the best of both game styles; you can recognise the colour-coded scale of awesomeness for your loot alongside the superb right-in-there combat mechanics. You can grind, farm, explore – whatever. It’s fun. A lot of fun.
It’s available on the three big platforms (PS3, Xbox 360, PC) and is big on multiplayer, though frankly it’s just as great solo. However, the one thing that annoys me with these big multi-platform titles and multiplayer is that we can’t interact with each other.
While I can play through Steam with one friend, my Xbox friend can’t join in and is left to languish alone with inferior loot. Not the fault of the game – more the big console companies trying to keep their corner of the market isolated – but it’s still a letdown.
Anyway, these things aside, why is this such a great egalitarian game? Put simply, it takes the piss. Out of everyone. On the surface of things, anyone is fair game, but(!) if you listen and observe, what I’ve noticed is that there’s a bit of a slant on the piss-takings, and it’s a positive one. I’ll give you some examples, but from here on out, beware the spoilers.
My two favourite NPCs are Ellie and Tina. They’re both great examples of powerful, self-confident, self-reliant women who aren’t your average pin-up character and who represent integral, practical and useful components of the story & mission.
They’re not decoration over in the corner of the room; they’re key to your success. Ellie is a mechanic (and a bit of a whizz at that) and she’s a larger woman. She loves it, and so does the game and its creators.
In the book that came with my special edition game-pack, Inside the Vault: The Art & Design of Borderlands 2, one character artist has said:
Ellie is one of my favorites… I like that we have embraced a variety of different character shapes.
Ellie’s dialogue is snappy, funny and generally awesome. Some examples include: “…they like skinny chicks ’cause they’s pussies!” and “My mom Moxxi always told me if I slimmed down, men’d pay me more mind. Shows what she knows – I got these boys bending over backwards…”.
And Tina. Tina is an early-teens girl who has been orphaned and likes to spend time having tea parties and, uh, exploding stuff. She’s the best explosives expert on the planet. Even the man leading the resistance defers to her.
Tina’s a confusing character to meet – her speech is a little discordant with her sweet appearance – but she nevertheless maintains BL2 hilarity while being totally badass.
Tina and Ellie are just two of the female NPCs (yup, there’s others!) but I gotta say, having played through, the women are very important in BL2. They’re powerful, proactive, and practical. They can fight, build, explode stuff and save the day – they are full and proper characters and they’re equal (if not more awesome) than their male counterparts.
Even a rather minor female NPC adds to the all-round feminine badassery by “accidentally” giving you coordinates to mortar a very misogynist fellow into tiny pieces.
What’s great is that while the game’s pleasing me by being fair with its female characters, it’s also very subtly passing on the message that misogyny and sexism isn’t cool and isn’t funny. Plenty of anti-egalitarian types rear their heads in the story, but they all get punished in-game. I think that’ll go a long way to dissuading that sort of behaviour in the audience – and hopefully show other developers that women can be awesome too.
Deadlight, or ‘the obligatory, festivity-themed title that’s actually pretty awesome’
Finally, in the spirit of all things spooky, there’s Deadlight, which recently ported across to Steam from Xbox Live Arcade (released on Steam 25/10/2012). Developed by Tequila Works alongside Microsoft Studios, Deadlight is a tense indie zombie-survival offering set in post-apocalyptic 1980s Seattle. You play Randall Wayne, who’s been separated from his wife and daughter, battling and evading the ‘shadows’ as he navigates a ruined, hazardous cityscape to reunite his family.
It’s a simple premise by all accounts, and we’ve certainly seen plenty of zombie themes in recent years across the entertainment spectrum – but don’t let that put you off.
Deadlight is a side-scroller with a dark, moody art style reminiscent of LIMBO . It doesn’t feel too distant from the survivalist title I Am Alive, which also requires you to focus on your stamina levels to avoid falling of buildings or running out of energy mid-fight. Similarly, you have limited weaponry and ammo (only what you can salvage on your way) so a lot of the time you have to make do without, meaning you can’t go full force forward shooting everything that moves. Nor can you charge about with an axe and splatter everything, because that runs your stamina down pretty sharpish.
Running, climbing and hiding are some of the best options, but there’s also environmental elements you can use to your advantage. Zombies aren’t smart: if you jump over a hole in the floor, they’ll just fall in it.
Without giving away too much, zombies aren’t your only problem in Deadlight, and not every moment is spent dashing about. It’s good fun and manages to keep up the tension without being so nerve-racking you log off (I’m looking at you, Amnesia… you too, Slender!).
At under a tenner full price (£9.99) it’s not bad value either, but if you’re quick there’s 15% off on Steam until the end of today (£8.49), so it’s worth checking out for a little Hallowe’en amusement. For those of you who prefer XBLA, it’s 1,200 Microsoft Points.
If you aren’t tickled by Deadlight, don’t forget, Thanksgiving is nigh approaching (22/11/12) so keep a look out in November for more sales all over the place from US-centric platforms and digital management systems!
]]>Final Round: What are you wearing?
Miranda: Before we answer this question, I have to say I was almost tempted by this, the most surreal thing Yandy has ever spawned. I give you ARCADE CUTIE. So unhinged I might actually wear it.
Look at the FACIAL EXPRESSION on the skirt. The skirt is actually embarrassed to be part of the outfit, which contains not one but THREE STRATEGICALLY PLACED FACES. It’s even better than Boob Fury. Absolutely blew me away in the sheer entropic blaze of its own wrong-glory. Katy Perry has nothing on it. But anyway, what are we all wearing? I suspect almost none of us are going down the off-the-peg costume route?
Sarah J: I’m going to two parties so I’m attempting to combine the themes The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and Le Tigre into one outfit. I haven’t really worked out how yet, but I think I’ll probably be Riot Lucy (who looks pretty similar to Manda Rin from Bis).
Miranda: Alternate-Universe Lucy, who survives that horrible train crash in The Last Battle! Maybe you’re undead, too, and vowing revenge on CS Lewis for such a terrible plotting decision.
Jenni: I was actually the wardrobe from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe one year at school.
Miranda: I dressed up as Anne Bonny last year. Needless to say, I did not use a shop-bought costume. Pirates do particularly badly in terms of costume-shop gender separation – all the women’s clothes are labelled “VIXEN PIRATE”, “WENCH PIRATE”, “MAIDEN PIRATE”, and so on, while the dudes get to be “CUT THROAT JACK”. So I just bought some plastic pistols and raided Age Concern. There was slightly more boob-coverage going on than in this 1700s etching. This year I think I’m going more trad-gothic-novel-heroine, but hopefully with an impressive amount of lace and waft.
Rhian: My Halloween costumes tend to be ridiculous rather than sexy – in the past five years I’ve dressed as Terry Hall (incredibly vague tangential ‘Ghost Town’ joke), Patrick Bateman once, and Thatcher twice. Last year I had an entire party themed around Tory/Coalition Horror, but I fully accept that’s just me being slightly self-parodic. I don’t think I’ve ever knowingly done Sexy!Halloween, it feels like a bit of a cop-out almost in the dressing-up stakes (as in, I’d far rather someone react to me with ‘That’s really funny’ than ‘Wow, you look hot’).
Jenni: Your predilection for dressing as Thatcher has always worried me, Rhian.
Markgraf: As I warned at the start of this chat, I’m going as a sexed-up Misdreavus. That’s a Pokemon. And I’m not even sorry. I love the shit out of Hallowe’en, and dressing up, and monsters, and bodypaint, and Pokemon, and horrible outfits that try to be sexy but aren’t. I love the former five for obvious reasons, but I love the latter because they’re so incongruous. I mean, sexy takeaway food? What the fuck? The allure of dressing as a tarted-up cartoon ghost from a videogame with the assistance of stripper heels and bodypaint is always going to be too much for me to resist. Also, I’m a boy. Hyper-femme incongruous drag is something I can pull off. So why not? Halloween is for dressing up as things that’ll impress or terrify, and I can’t think of anything more impressive and terrifying than sexy Pokemon cosplay in little more than paint and a wig.
Miranda: Thatcher, a sexed-up Pokemon, and Riot Grrrl CS Lewis. We know how to party in here. How do I compete? Maybe I’ll just build some kind of furry several-headed contraption that fits over my shoulders and just go as Three Wolf Moon.
Jenni: Or the Pixar lamp.
Miranda: That person wins the entire internet.
Rob: Well, I was going to dress as a pumpkinhead – as in, I am going to hollow out a pumpkin and wear it on my head – but this whole exchange is making me think maybe I should sex it up a bit. Me, with a pumpkin on my head… and a bikini.
Happy Halloween from Team BadRep!
]]>Round Two: Sassy, Sassy Superheroes
Jenni: I demand to know what the costume designers were thinking when they called these travesties Captain America costumes, or Ninja Turtle or Wolverine costumes. I mean, I don’t think you could get into a S.H.I.E.L.D. base dressed like that and claim to be Cap. Masters of disguise, these costume makers are not.
But you look nothing LIKE Wolverine!
I was the kid who thought ‘shoddy work’ when comic book inkers coloured in panels of Wolverine’s costume the wrong colour. What do you expect will be my reaction when you try to sell me that and call it a Wolverine costume? The only time I’ve seen a male superhero wear a skirt that short was when Deadpool put on Jean Grey’s costume and insisted he was an X-Man.
Rob: Just for the record, I’m planning to do that particular Deadpool outfit for a convention next summer.
Markgraf: Fuck NEXT SUMMER, do it for THIS WEEKEND!
Miranda: This Green Lantern one’s not so bad. Good: it still has those huge abs printed on it! No toning down the muscle power for the ladies. Less good: The lines on the front come over like a bra made out of sinew. Even She-Hulk does not possess this feature.
Sarah J: Sassy Thor Girl is quite amusing. The Mighty Avenger! It’s the coy way she’s cradling the hammer that makes it. And her angry thunder god fluffy boot-tops. Are they intended to represent clouds? Anyway, I think this is one example among thousands of the failure to translate power from a masculine to a feminine character. Thor is big and strong and powerful! Look at his beard, muscles and giant throbbing hammer! Thor Girl is… er… sexy? Sassy? Look at her fluffy boots of death!
Sassy!
Miranda: Yes! The failure to translate power thing you just said? I think that nails it. Look at how Marvin-Martian-girl has no war helmet. Also, I find it really weird how these manufacturers seem to think adding heels to things in the promo shots is logical – the worst offender by far is this shot of a Neytiri from Avatar costume. That character lives in a rainforest, rides a psychic dinosaur and is part of a tribe considering waging a war, in effect, on consumerism. The electric blue stilettoes scream “just took that dinosaur on a sweet trip to Topshop”. Which sort of ruins the whole nature-hippy vibe.
Rob: Also, this seems relevant.
Miranda: Yes. This is all, really, less about Halloween specifically and more about general societal trends around gender and bodies and clothing writ large. Why are we meant to be so uncomfortable with male flesh on display in this way? Sexy male costumes do exist, but they tend to be seen as much more out of place at a general house party than a woman in stockings and suspenders.
Jenni: By the way, I think these posters are amazing. They were created by STARS – Students Teaching Against Racism, at Ohio University, and I think they really get the point across about cultural appropriation and racism at costume parties.
Sarah J: Those posters are ace.
Miranda: Yes. Yet another reason why Sexy Chinese Takeaway should just go on fire.
Jenni: Take Back Halloween and their well-researched selection of costume ideas are still going strong, judging by this appearance on The Mary Sue. I mentioned them in the Halloween post I made on BR last year. Goddesses, queens, warriors and pirates – all costumes I’d consider!
Miranda: And for everything else, there’s always Angry Birds, which is just bringing everyone together in a transcendently glorious sexy-free world of cushioning and big eyebrows.
NEXT: What we’re wearing, and our absolute favourite WTF costume Yandy.com has yet spewed into the world
]]>Round One: Marvin the Martian and the Furious Boobs
Miranda: So I thought we could look at what’s on sale for Halloween this year. Jen sent me this from io9. It’s titled “this year’s sluttiest and weirdest store-bought Halloween costumes”, and while I’d question the use of “slutty” perhaps, the point stands: the gulf between MAN SUIT and LADY VERSION (for we are in polarised gender binary land forever, of course) here is… well, case in point, Marvin the Martian. Are you a man? Then your eyes go on your HEAD! Are you a woman? Then your eyes go on your TITS! That is the WAY THINGS ARE DONE AROUND HERE, PLEASE LINE UP TO PAY.
Jenni: I think it’s very considerate of them to leave out the leggings on the ladies’ costume. “Girls! Want to show off your new spray-tan and waxed-smooth legs yet STILL want to dress as a cartoon Martian? This costume is for you. Men, nobody wants to see your legs. They must be covered at all times. Put them away.”
Miranda: I mean, Marvin’s key features include his very engulfing polo neck. But why bother with that “recognisable” shit when you can STICK EYES ON YOUR BOOBULARS.
Sarah J: You know, I almost – almost – like this one. Of course the woman’s costume is barely recognisable as Marvin anyway, but without the boots, hat and gun you’ve got a pretty awesome boobfurious dress that says: ‘Yes, my breasts hate you’. Perfect for so many occasions! Whereas the romano-cyber-sportswear interpretation the man’s wearing looks kind of rubbish.
Miranda: I can definitely get behind the Boob Fury interpretation. Maybe I was being too harsh.
Markgraf: The thing Halloween costumes highlight for me every year is how no-one knows how the fuck to dress men. Women, in this ciscentric, binarist view of costuming, have sections: boobs, waist, arse and legs. And you can section costumes accordingly to highlight whichever of these areas you prefer. But men, right, they HAVE no areas! They’re just… a long rectangle! What the fuck are you meant to do with that?! I feel the costumier’s despair wafting out of my monitor like the sad back end of a horse. It’s the same school of thought that leads cybergoth fashion to dress women like awesome robots from the future crossed with angry Christmas trees, and men in a t-shirt and jeans (but black, and with rubber bits on). Men have sections as well, on account of also possessing a skeleton and body mass! And they can get away with showing off more skin, too, because man nipples are inexplicably inoffensive. It’s not hard, designers! Don’t let society rule you! Go for it! Break free of the top-half-bottom-half block painting of menswear! Give us thigh-high things and stuff to show off our shoulders! Do it or I’ll dress up as a Pokemon!
NEXT: Sassy Sassy Superheroes
- From reader Stu, a piece on pioneering scientist Dame Jocelyn Bell Burnell. Click the links and check out the interview.
- Dating While Feminist: an interview with author Samhita Mukhopadhyay.
- Yemeni women protest in the streets – news piece from the Guardian.
- Doctor Who and Race: call for papers for a new anthology.
- Birds Eye Film Festival 2012’s been cancelled after funding cuts, and we are gutted.
- On a lighter note, since it’s nearly Halloween, our Sarah J tweeted this – illustrator Lucy Knisley’s fantastic one-panel comic on the horror genre.
- “These women are at OWS for the purpose of voicing dissent, not being evaluated”: The “Hot Chicks of Occupy Wall Street” debate continues, with Jezebel and Feministe very much fed up of the hotchick business, while the NYT attempts what it refers to as “equal opportunities” ogling with a tribute to the “Underappreciated Hunks of Occupy Wall Street”.
- We’re on the hunt for particularly awesome pumpkin stencils. Here’s two broadly-relevant-to-our-interests ones at Pink Raygun, though they’re pretty fiddly-complex-lookin’: Wonder Woman and Battlestar Galactica…
- Hey girl. Feminist Ryan Gosling in the house.
- Cynthia the 1930s Adventure Mannequin, or your daily dose of Uncanny Valley and emotionally-involved Wikipedia editing.
- “This is a frustratingly inconsistent approach to writing chemical formulae”: Blackboards in Porn, analysed and rated for accuracy! (no nudity)
- “And now I have a boyfriend! His name is Car washer, and he gives me $50 a day” – Rock Paper Shotgun takes on new “game for girls” Lady Popular. ]]>
By Andy Marlette (http://www.andymarlette.com)
I love this cartoon. I sent it to nearly all the women I know last year. Do I need to say why I love it? It so clearly outlines the choices for young girls these days, not just at Halloween. You can be anything you want to be, as long as you’re sexy. You can be anything, as long as you look good doing it. Anything!! As long as some man somewhere thinks it’s sexy…
I mean, the first thing people say about women they’re trying to insult is usually that they’re ugly/fat/too old. That they don’t possess or inspire this all-important male approval. Just think about some of the things you’ve heard said, by the left and the right, about female politicians. Think about some of the things you might have said.
When men shout or whistle at me in the street and I walk away, what do they shout? They shout “You fat cow!” “You ugly bitch!” They’re not alone, every five year-old kid starting school learns that they can upset little girls by calling them fat.
Of course you can also be too sexy, because hey, you wouldn’t want those people you’re trying to get the approval of thinking you’re easy now, would ya? That could interfere with your appeal. But it’s all related. Be just sexy enough, show just the right amount of skin, look just submissive enough, just powerful enough, don’t look like you’re ‘asking for it’ (whatever the fuck that means), give that camera just the right look, and you too can be anything you want to be.
To get off the soapbox and back to the subject, Halloween, this day which just highlights something that’s already going on in our culture, here are a couple of seasonal links for you to enjoy:-
Website Take Back Halloween has got a hella load of costumes for you to pick from, and you won’t find the tagline ‘sexy’ on any of them. They’ve got warrior queens, goddesses and legends, and other famous women to pick from, poets, writers, saints, activists, movie stars and serial killers! They say: “Why be a fairy princess when you can be a queen?”
The bloggers at Geek Feminism, with a nod to Take Back Halloween, pick a few geekier costumes which also ignore the male gaze… they’ve got robots, rubiks cubes and Lovecraftian horrors… They say: “There’s no reason that a squid monster can’t have a feminine touch.”
Comics Alliance take a funny look at some of the most ridiculous and just plain unnecessary ‘sexy’ costumes on sale this Halloween, like the cringe-making Transformers costume below. They’ve very helpfully provided an illustration of what that character is supposed to look like – can you spot the difference? They’ve got wildly inaccurate superhero costumes, (and of course, there’s nothing that upsets this BadRep blogger more than people Doing Comics Wrong!), and they’ve got sexed-up characters from your other favourite childhood TV shows. There’s sexy Elmo, a sexy Ninja Turtle and a sexy Lone Ranger! They say: “A sexy version of Elmo is the kind of thing that when you see it, you have to tell someone else, or it’ll just sit there in your brain slowly driving you insane as you try to figure out why it exists.”
Cracked.com also has a feature on 26 ‘Sexy’ Halloween Costumes That Shouldn’t Exist.
I think I need to step away from the internet now. When you see a sexy Transfromers costume that’s the Internet gods’ way of telling you you’ve been online for too long.
Happy Halloween, folks! I solemnly swear to leave your precious childhood memories alone next time we meet.
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