Yeah, they’re those scary big lumps of metal that seem to find bikers invisible. :/

I know how an engine works. My dissertations were both automotive based (one on an alternative to the poppet valve, another on crankshaft failures through excessive vibrations) … and yet the reality is knowing all that doesn’t help when you’re confronted with a huge lump of complex parts. Not everything looks like it does in the textbooks, and not all engines are the same as those I experimented on at uni.

I also can’t drive a car. Being a Londoner meant I never really needed to learn that skill. But I did get a motorbike licence because bikes are way more fun, cheaper to run than cars and can filter through traffic. ;) And smaller bike engines are really easy to work on too! I ended up taking a mechanics class at Merton College (SW London) which was great but it was expensive.

I want to say so much more but I’ll read the rest of your blog to see how this story develops first.

Yes, exactly! I spent some time with a manual over the last few weeks, and it finally let me wrap my brain around what a clutch is and how it’s supposed to behave. My clutch control improved startlingly over the period; my instructor asked suspiciously if I’d been taking lessons with anyone else…

We never did anything remotely like that in D&T at school, we mostly just made stupid wall ornaments that immediately broke. I am quite excited to get all dirty, to be honest!

I of course plan to strip the entire engine down while wearing a lovely tea-dress and a pearl necklace. Well, it was either that or some sturdy over-alls, and the book has taught me the error of my ways…

You mean that cars aren’t monstrous killing machines?

I’m reminded of something from when I was around 29 years old (I’m talking of the mid 1970s). I had a period of looking at army, navy and air force recruitment ads. It wasn’t that I wished to join the armed services, but that I wanted to know the maximum age for joining. Seeking to gain an assurance that, soon, even in the event of a sanity meltdown that would make me wish to join, growing too old would save me.

Good luck with it. The nearest I came to building an engine happened at school. Someone gave the school an old engine which, we were assured, would be available for teaching us the basics of mechanics. First though, the engine needed to be be put into a presentable condition. The job assigned to me was cleaning out the sump, which is a horrible task. Having cleaned out the sump, I never heard mention of the engine again. Perhaps (for all I know) it was installed in the science teacher’s car. I hope your experience is better than mine.