Yeah, was just meaning that if you are bitter then you’re probably better off finding someone who doesn’t mind (or wants to join in :-) than pretending you aren’t to seem more attractive.

I vary – I like the occasional bit of sarky humour and self-awareness, but I don’t particularly like cynicism for cynicism’s sake.

This is because I am an unapologetically gregarious dork. I like being able to go to the zoo with someone and shout, “WOW! LOOK AT THE HIPPO! :D” without anyone going “uh, whatever”.

But I don’t think Sarah J would advocate THAT sort of bitterness either. Because that sort of bitterness doesn’t lend itself to getting anything done, so it’s not very conducive to activism of many kinds, I think :)

Cosmo has an extensive “man section” in which “real men” (not, like, Real Men exclusively in the Beef-Football-Porn sense… just any men who they’ve amazingly shipped over from Mars to get that precious insight into their minds) tell you what they “really think”. Because, obviously, this will enlighten you as to how all men think, and thus give you the skills to successfully negotiate your relationship with any of the interchangeable mysterious beings. This will be a far better strategy than asking any of the men you meet what they think about any of these issues (“do all men really want a threesome?”), because… you should always expect men to lie to you? (I don’t actually read Cosmo that much. It’s just that sometimes people buy a copy and I can’t help but look. Like the Daily Mail website.)

Of course, I find everyone an unknowable other. Even you. But that’s a separate issue…

I think the idea behind no.3 is the most pernicious. Both genders of magazine seem utterly devoted to the idea that men/women are an unknowable other and you must spend money on glossy bullet-pointed lists of decoding strategies to have a chance of unravelling the mystery.

What is he thinking when he does this ostensibly banal thing!? What does she REALLY want when she says she wants this other thing? Read our top ten tips for understanding eyebrow movement! Buy our wallchart of ways to get people into bed using psychic-ninja-body symmetry!!!

Sigh. Let me know if you compile a full list of Advanced Interpersonal Skills.

Thanks! Glad to hear of other people taking up bitterness as a shared hobby. It’s cheaper than ballroom dancing classes at any rate, and you can get together with other couples and be bitter together over a nice dinner. Lovely!

I agree about those vicious inverted commas. Like your personality is an optional extra! Missing. The. Point.

Thanks! I think #12 is the hardest, I certainly haven’t cracked it.

Oh yes I think they do. It wasn’t meant to be a dig at the author of the article (except on the cooking thing – I mean, wow) I reckon there are a lot of sensible writers who turn out this stuff because they need to earn a crust. And there is some good advice in there, so I guess I should be grateful that some of it gets through.

That’s enough seeing the best in people for me, think I may have to go and have a lie down ;-)