{"id":14251,"date":"2013-12-03T09:00:42","date_gmt":"2013-12-03T09:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/?p=14251"},"modified":"2013-12-03T15:38:49","modified_gmt":"2013-12-03T15:38:49","slug":"guest-post-lady-sylvia-lair-white-worm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2013\/12\/03\/guest-post-lady-sylvia-lair-white-worm\/","title":{"rendered":"[Guest
Post] In Praise of Snake Vampire Cultist Ladies"},"content":{"rendered":"
<ul>
  \n
  <li>
    <em
      ><a href=\"https:\/\/filmburble.wordpress.com\/\"
      target=\"_blank\"><strong
        >Emily McQuade<\/strong><\/a> takes the guest post slot now. She last
        wrote <a
        href=\"http:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2013\/02\/27\/guest-post-the-countess-is-waiting-for-you-daughters-of-darkness\/\"
        target=\"_blank\">a highly amusing piece for us on the movie
        <strong
          >Daughters of Darkness<\/strong><\/a>, so we asked her to pick another
          favourite female monster from the silver screen for Halloween. Then
          the Ed wasn&#8217;t well for a bit, so we didn&#8217;t put the post up
          for a while. But here it is now! Do you have a guest pitch? Pitch that
          pitch to <a href=\"mailto:badrepeditors@gmail.com\"><strong
            >badrepeditors@gmail.com<\/strong><\/a>!<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
            <p>
              One thing to be aware of when watching any of Ken Russell\u2019s
              films is that you will spend at least three quarters of the
              running time saying to yourself, \u2018What THE HELL am I
              watching.\u2019<\/p>\n
            </p>
            <p>
              Mr Russell\u2019s
              <strong
                >The Lair of the White Worm<\/strong> (1988) is so bizarre
                that&#8230; well, let\u2019s just take a look at the notes I
                made the last time I watched it: <\/p>\n
                <blockquote>
                  <p>
                    \u2018How do you spot a snake vampire cultist lady?
                    She\u2019ll be playing snakes and ladders. In thigh high
                    boots.\u2019 <\/p>\n
                  </p>
                  <p>
                    \u2018Gratuitous historically inaccurate nun torture.\u2019
                    <\/p>\n
                  </p>
                  <p>
                    \u2018Where IS Peter Capaldi keeping that mongoose?\u2019
                    <\/p><\/blockquote>\n
                  </p>
                  <p>
                    <a
                    href=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm.jpg\"><img
                    data-attachment-id=\"14252\"
                    data-permalink=\"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2013\/12\/03\/guest-post-lady-sylvia-lair-white-worm\/lair_of_the_white_worm\/\"
                    data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm.jpg?fit=325%2C483&amp;ssl=1\"
                    data-orig-size=\"325,483\" data-comments-opened=\"1\"
                    data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\"
                    data-image-title=\"Lair_of_the_white_worm\"
                    data-image-description=\"\"
                    data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm.jpg?fit=201%2C300&amp;ssl=1\"
                    data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm.jpg?fit=325%2C483&amp;ssl=1\"
                    loading=\"lazy\"
                    src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm-201x300.jpg?resize=201%2C300\"
                    alt=\"Lair_of_the_white_worm\" width=\"201\" height=\"300\"
                    class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-14252\"
                    srcset=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm.jpg?resize=201%2C300&amp;ssl=1
                    201w,
                    https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Lair_of_the_white_worm.jpg?w=325&amp;ssl=1
                    325w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 201px) 100vw, 201px\"
                    data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>Very loosely based on Bram
                    Stoker\u2019s original story, the film takes an olde worlde
                    horror setup and adds a fantastic lady monster (Lady Sylvia
                    Marsh, as played by Amanda Donohoe \u2013 a saucy
                    aristocratic predator who thinks white three corner hats are
                    casual wear) and a high pile of hallucinatory WTF.<\/p>\n
                  </p>
                  <p>
                    (Unfortunately, Bram Stoker\u2019s
                    <strong
                      >The Lair of the White Worm<\/strong> is not a great read.
                      It\u2019s got potential \u2013 Lovecraftian horrors
                      stirring beneath the English countryside \u2013 but
                      it\u2019s clunky as hell. And contains so much sexism and
                      racism that it reads like an unsubtle parody of a
                      Victorian horror tale.) <\/p>\n
                      <p>
                        Peter Capaldi plays Angus, an archaeology student who
                        finds the skull of some kind of monster in the garden of
                        a B&#038;B in Derbyshire. The B&#038;B is run by two
                        sisters \u2013 Eve and Mary (Catherine Oxenberg and
                        Sammi Davis. Note the unsubtle choice of names) whose
                        mother has disappeared in mysterious circumstances.
                        <\/p>\n
                      </p>
                      <p>
                        Then Lord D\u2019Ampton (Hugh Grant) invites them to his
                        ancestral hall for an 80s folk\/rock party, where he
                        re-enacts the legendary tale of an ancestor of his, who
                        killed a giant worm (guess what colour it was.) that was
                        terrorising the village some centuries previously.
                        <\/p>\n
                      </p>
                      <p>
                        (The beast that his ancestor had the squabble with was
                        the D\u2019Ampton Worm. As in the <a
                        href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Lambton_Worm\"
                        target=\"_blank\">Lambton Worm<\/a>. Both Stoker\u2019s
                        and Russell\u2019s version of \u2018White Worm\u2019
                        take place in Derbyshire and not Durham. There were a
                        lot of worm monsters about in the olden days,
                        apparently.)<\/p>\n
                      </p>
                      <p>
                        <a
                        href=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm.jpg\"><img
                        data-attachment-id=\"14255\"
                        data-permalink=\"https:\/\/badreputation.org.uk\/2013\/12\/03\/guest-post-lady-sylvia-lair-white-worm\/lairworm\/\"
                        data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm.jpg?fit=600%2C862&amp;ssl=1\"
                        data-orig-size=\"600,862\" data-comments-opened=\"1\"
                        data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\"
                        data-image-title=\"LairWorm\"
                        data-image-description=\"\"
                        data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm.jpg?fit=208%2C300&amp;ssl=1\"
                        data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm.jpg?fit=600%2C862&amp;ssl=1\"
                        loading=\"lazy\"
                        src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm-208x300.jpg?resize=208%2C300\"
                        alt=\"LairWorm\" width=\"208\" height=\"300\"
                        class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-14255\"
                        srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm.jpg?resize=208%2C300&amp;ssl=1
                        208w,
                        https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/badreputation.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/LairWorm.jpg?w=600&amp;ssl=1
                        600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 208px) 100vw, 208px\"
                        data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>This gets Angus wondering
                        \u2013 could his new-found skull have something to do
                        with the one in the tale? Lord D\u2019Ampton is
                        foppishly sceptical. And then Lady Sylvia slinks into
                        view. And spits venom on a crucifix. I haven\u2019t seen
                        <strong
                          >Downton Abbey<\/strong> for ages, but I\u2019m pretty
                          sure that her TV namesake is not in the habit of doing
                          such things.<\/p>\n
                          <p>
                            What follows is an unsettling campfest. Lady Sylvia
                            does some horrible things (that poor boy scout) but
                            she\u2019s also horribly fascinating. I don\u2019t
                            know if she was meant to be a satire on the
                            \u2018sexy sex ladies who are EVIIILL\u2019 trope or
                            an unsubtle parody of 80s decadence (see Kate
                            Beaton\u2019s <a
                            href=\"http:\/\/www.harkavagrant.com\/index.php?id=285\"
                            target=\"_blank\">marvellous Dracula cartoon<\/a>
                            for a nice pisstake of how this trope came up in
                            Stoker\u2019s most famous tale). But either way Ms
                            Donohue looks to be really enjoying herself. <\/p>\n
                          </p>
                          <p>
                            Eve and Mary are sketchily drawn characters \u2013
                            it transpires that Eve is a virgin, which makes her
                            sacrifice fodder for the great big worm beast living
                            under Sylvia\u2019s mansion (paging Doctor Freud).
                            Lord D\u2019Ampton has some rude dreams and tries to
                            fix things with his super posh man skillz.
                            Eventually, Angus has to face vamped up Sylvia
                            alone. Yep, Peter Capaldi is the <a
                            href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Final_girl\"
                            target=\"_blank\">Final Girl<\/a>. <\/p>\n
                          </p>
                          <p>
                            He does a bit of snake charming with a kilt and a
                            set of bagpipes. And a mongoose. If anyone\u2019s
                            concerned that
                            <strong
                              >Doctor Who<\/strong>-loving kids might come
                              across Malcolm Tucker\u2019s epic swears by
                              accident online, wait until they get a load of
                              this.<\/p>\n
                              <p>
                                <strong
                                  >Lair of the White Worm<\/strong> is basically
                                  awesome trash. Or it\u2019s trash cinema
                                  French kissing arthouse cinema down a dingy
                                  alleyway. And sometimes that\u2019s what you
                                  want.<\/p>\n
                                  <p>
                                    <iframe width=\"420\" height=\"315\"
                                    src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Z4Q-PyZxZjw?rel=0\"
                                    frameborder=\"0\"
                                    allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n
                                  </p>
                                  <ul>
                                    \n
                                    <li>
                                      <em
                                        ><strong
                                          >Emily McQuade<\/strong> lives in
                                          North London. She enjoys finding weird
                                          old films on YouTube and watching
                                          other weird old films at the BFI. When
                                          not thinking about films, she enjoys
                                          books, gigs and making up elaborate
                                          conspiracy theories involving
                                          squirrels. She can also be found on
                                          Twitter: <a
                                          href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/missmcq\"
                                          target=\"_blank\"><strong
                                            >@missmcq<\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div
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                                                                  <p>
                                                                    \u2018How do
                                                                    you spot a
                                                                    snake
                                                                    vampire
                                                                    cultist
                                                                    lady?
                                                                    She\u2019ll
                                                                    be playing
                                                                    snakes and
                                                                    ladders. In
                                                                    thigh high
                                                                    boots.\u2019<\/p>\n<div
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            </p></strong
          ></strong
        ></strong
      ></em
    >
  </li>
</ul>